I didn't expect Mel to be my first visitor after my parents but she came in looking really bad she had a lunchbox in her hand.
She just broke down and sat besides me I really thought I was tired of crying but seeing my sister who has had nothing but hatred towards me cry made me cry too.
Mel:"I thought not being close to you would help deal better with the painI love you so much. I don't want you dying thinking that I hated you I always wanted us to be close but I made myself very different from you. I made you not want to be close to me because if I did otherwise I'd die with you but still I feel like shit and I wish we were closer because this pain I'm feeling is unbearable "
I wished I could comfort her but I too was at my weakestWe held hands and cried.
Me:"I love you Mel you my only sister I am happy to hear that you love me as well"She smiled"Call Graham please I want to see him before I leave".
They were done with trials but I wish they were done with final exams I don't wish to be the reason he doesn't get a Bachelor with distinctions which I know he is capable of getting.
Mel :"You don't look too bad don't you think you can hold on just a little longer?"
I shook my head.
Me:"It's painful every where"
She stood up and placed her hand on her forehead Seeing people act this way was what made me hurt the most . it was the nail in my head. I fell asleep still talking to Mel I heard her scream from a distance but she calmed down when she heard that it might be the pills that are doing me like this. I was woken up by Jack and Thabiso the two of them looked okay well not bad but they were clearly sad I smiled at them.
Thabiso:"Why didn't you say anything?"
Me :"I didn't know how to "
Jack:"What are the doctors saying? Can't they do chemotherapy "
Me :"It has spread throughout my body I can't even go to the bathroom anymore "
Thabiso :"There must be something they can do"
Me :"It's okay...Where is Graham?"
They looked at each other.
Thabiso :"We can't find him"
Me :"He knows?"
Jack:"No but he has been worried it's been a while since he has seen you he thought you were giving him space because of the exams and your parents haven't said anything to him too"
Me :"Find him please I need to see him I can't leave without seeing him"
They nodded they sat there for a while they didn't want to leave. But I had to beg them
My parents didn't come mom said she can't see me like this as for my father he never really loved me as Mel all he did was give me money and made me feel invisible. Graham walked in at my room confused I hadn't been sleeping waiting for him and I was allowed visitors throughout since my time is near..
Graham:"Why are you here?"
He kissed my lips.
I struggled with sitting up straight he helped me sit up straight.
Me :"Before I say anything just know I didn't plan for any of this if I could change my life I would change it"
Graham :"Are you okay?"
I shook my head .
Me:"When Mel was born everything at home was good mom and dad had just got married and they were inlove but when I was conceived dad got super busy unfortunately my mother had some Attention seeking disease when dad couldn't give her that she tried all she could to force him to give her the attention. She resorted in alcohol which caused a lot of complications in her pregnancy. When I grew up they always thought I just had trouble breathing which is what I had told you about. But I had liver chirrosis and Blood cancer "
He was listening attentively and would give me a glass of water everytime I ran out of breathe I did have pipes to breathe but my mouth would dry up from the talking.
Graham:"Uhm okay but you are here to treat it right I mean they did give you medicine or something. It can't be bad besides you are young and you can afford treatment and transport you somewhereright?"
He was babbling he was scared I could hear it in his voice. I held his hand he looked at me with glistened eyes I shook my head a tear escaped my eyes.
Me:"I am dying Graham I knew I was dying when I wrote the wishes I knew I was dying when I changed schools just so I could be awkward and not feel awkward about it I knew the first time you spoke to me. "
Graham:"And you didn't tell me?"
A tear fell from his eyes he quickly wiped it but when others followed he stopped because it was useless.He was weak and vulnerable because of me.
Me:"I didn't want to hurt you not after your mother"
Graham:"You made me fall for you more than the bottom less pit would ever make me fall. I left the life that didn't cause me heartache so I could be with the person who would end up cutting my heart in half like it wasn't an important organ"
Me :"I am sorry"
Graham:"You should've told me"
He pushed his hair out of his face and left me there crying what hurt me the most is seeing him cry like that. Now I felt bad about dying.