Part 16 the wishes

. Jack was still pale I didn’t say another word scared that he might faint. Jack:"You d-dying " Me :"Yes" He looked around then pushes the wheelchair to the park. Jack:"How do you feel about all this? I mean you haven't shown any signs of worry" Me :"I feel numb now I don't know my feelings Well I did cry everyday for a ful year when I found out" Jack:"Is that why you never had friends?You didn't want to infect them" He even had tears which he tried to wipe away but failed I held his hand. Me:"I didn't want anyone getting attached to me only for me leave them" Jack:"But what about us? " Me :"Inevitability You guys just came I couldn't get rid of you and I really love Graham" Jack :"You are dying Isabella and you have made him fall for you real deep" Me :"I wish I had planned it but I didn't I also love Graham more than the little life I have left. I love him to a point where I wish Chemotherapy would work or the pain treatment they have been giving me was to treat what I have but I can't turn off my heart neither can I not die" We we're both in tears now. Jack :"I wish you weren't sweet but you are but that doesn't mean you aren't at least a small inch of selfish Graham was crappy when his mom was sick and when he died imagine that happening to him again" Me:"What do you want me to do?" Jack:"Tell him you dying or break up with him I love you but I love my pal too I can't see him shitty I'm sure he can move on from you breaking up with him but not from you dying" With that said he stood up and leftI wish I was a person who throws tantrums or atleast has the smallest temper because this would be the right time to break staff. I hate ultimatums they are always shitty I don't know for how long I stayed outside but the rain was back now which meant I get to spend more time in hospital which leads to me having more time to think about what I will be choosing but both are hurtful I need to put them both in a scale and see which one will be less hurtful. Well the devil. decided not to shame me The next day Melinda picked me up. Mel:"You feeling good" Me :"Yeah" Mel:"Mom and Dad called they couldn't come back" Me:"It's okay" I heard her bored sigh when I looked at her she was really bored. The minute she parked the car I went straight to my room but when I opened the door my mouth hung open. Me:"Graham " His eyes shot up to me he dropped the book and jumped of my bed he rubbed the palm of his hands on his sides. Graham :"I've been waiting for you" I smiled with my eyes squinted he looked so adorable . Me:"I'm okay if that's what you asking " He gave me a tight Graham :"I missed you " I gave him a crooked smile my guilt was getting the best of me . I turned around in attempts to walk but he kissed me

I swear I couldn't even breathe. How can I leave him when just his kiss is enough to show me that he loves me? How can I leave him when he holds me like I'm fragile? How can I leave him when he makes me feel like him and I are the only people on earth.Our love isn't the kind of love that needs to be shown to the world neither do we gloat about it We just enjoy it together because it's our kind of love. It's us only and it's only us that need to enjoy it. We ended up in bed making love I knew I don't have enough strength to tell him face to face that we can't date anymore Schools were close to opening and most of my wishes have been fulfilled. The rest I hoped I'd do with Graham but I don't think they matter more than him being happily without me anymore. I was moving my thumb around the screen with no idea how to even begin when I break up with him I blinked and bit my laugh then I started typing. "I loved youI still love and surely I'll always love you. You didn't only accept my awkwardness but you loved me and accepted me just the way I am For that I'll always love you. I know this text probably made you nervous because I usually call believe me I'm also scared well more nervous and angry at myself than scared . You made me believe that there was actually a Romeo & JulietBella & Edward Christian and Anastasia because I believe that it was only a novel. Before anything you haven't done anything wrong but I don't think you and I can be anymore maybe I need a break or maybe I don't even believe in us Please don't beg me or hurt me I just need some time alone. Forgive me" I pressed send I don't know for how long I waited but a few minutes later my phone rang singing his name on the screen was enough to make me cry. It hurt so bad.


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