I didn't feel the slightest shame of not bathing before going out of the house I got on top of the horse. Graham put his fist in his mouth and put it out again. Graham:"Is that safe?" Me :"She won't drop usright horsey " She made the sound horses make I smiled at Graham he shook his head and got right behind me. Graham:"This is shit" I laughed. Me:"Not so tight " Graham :"Sorry I just feel like I'm about to fall" He was squeezing my waist. Me:"Right let's go back Grammys scared of heights" Graham:"Is that supposed to be a nickname? "I shrugged "I am not scared of heights I did climb the wall to your room didn't I"? The thought of him doing that made me blush just the events of the previous night replaying in my mind was enough to make my groin ache. Me:"Super man" I got down and helped him I was tying horsey and Graham was just looking at me with a smile I kept dodging his eyes. There is just something about those brown eyes that are surrounded by pale skin he is so pale His english nose and heart shaped pink lips. Graham:"Bells" I removed my eyes from him Was I staring? Wow I am one pervet. Me:"Grams" Graham:"You are aware about my name being pronounced as Grayam right?" Me :"Gra sounds better" He laughed but stopped. Me:"You okay?" He shook his head and sat down I bolted like lighting within seconds I was crouching in front of me.. Graham :"She isn't here anymore I know she was good as dead these past months but her just being there. It made me believe that Emily will still be with me The social workers might take her away you know?" Me :"You have no other family members?" His eyes were swollen because of last nights tears and the ones that were glistening his eyes right now. Graham :"It's always been just us 3" I don't know how Graham did it but he looked okay like he wasn't suffering with food or how he is the head of the family.The only male figure Emily had. Graham:"No you and Emily are all I have" I sat down this is bad this is really bad. I closed my eyes they too were stinging and my cheeks are probably wet right now. Graham pulled me to his shoulder I tried stopping because being this hurt will probably land me in hospital. Me:"It'll be okay" I said with least strength I had in meHe pulled to his lap my legs on either side of his waist. We sat there boring our eyes on each other

the magnetic field inbetween was way too strong to be ignored. Even if horsey would make a sound surely we would be oblivious to it. There is something about his eyes something that calms me because they minute they looked at mine I didn't let go and the tears were longed forgotten. Graham :"Now I know what they mean when they say they are in love you made it seem so easy. Falling in love with you was so easy " I didn't blink I watched the emotions in his eyes as he continuously mentioned love and me in one sentence. Good riddance. Me:"My parents will be back soon" Graham :"Please come to the funeral " Me :"Okay" I don't know if it's the funeral or cemetery but I just don't like funerals I hate burials but I was doing this for Graham. I suddenly felt sick and frail it was as though I aged. Graham was under a tent with only a few adults and his sister on his lap. Emily is probably 12 she is just small. . Thabiso:"You are here?" I smiled and sat down. Me:"There's no place I'd rather be" Graham wiped tears from his eyes over and over again so did Emily After the funeral .I didn't know what to doI stood uphe was coming towards me so I stopped walking. Graham :"Can you do me a favour? " Me :"Yes" Graham :"Watch Emily please She's not much trouble " Me:"It's really not a problem " Graham :"Thank you" He walked away I held his shoulder. . Me:"Where are you going?" Graham :"To sort out moms thingsand thank you a lot " I smiled and took Emilys handI'm not talkative Ems and I just sat there. My driver had come here with me. Emily :"Can I sleep?" Me :"Don't you want anything to eat first? " She shook her head Emily :"I'm okay " She got inside the bed I wore pyjamas and went to the screen room. I closed the curtain and sat in one of the couches. I'm glad no one was here to watch tv especially Melinda she makes sure every friend of hers sees the cinema room. Someone walked in and sat next to me. Mom:"Did you write to him?" I shook my head and snivelled Me :"I have no words momHe can't find out" Mom:"Honey it's 5 months left are you aware?" Me :"Can I be selfish just this once mom?I love him" She was about to cry tooI know she blames herself but she was young and careless. Mom:"You can be selfish " She brushed my back.