I never meant it when I said I hate you I never wished you any bad. Although I called you ugly you were not even close to being ugly... just that I hated how you made me steal. You always made sure gogo and I were always protected I still love you though I never really told you. I miss how you'd laugh at my drawings when I was growing up and how you told me"perfect" after a lot of practicing. I miss how you would play the radio and repeat the same song over and over again just so you could write down the lyrics. I miss the way you taught me english just so I could tell you that you a better tutor than Sive. But again you're gone you will never irritate me againyou will never hit me againyou will never open and close the kraal for me againyou will never make me steal againyou will never laugh at my bald head again or at my red cheeks. And most painful part about it all; I will never have a brother again. Gogo cries every nightshe blames herself she's sad because she thought you'd bury her I'm sadhurtand hurt again. It's already been a week and Masonwabes body arrived gogo took her saving anr bought a casket It wasn't cheap at all. Before the funeral my mothers brothers family came there weren't any people as our house was isolated and people were scared they might be poisoned. My uncle and a few of Masonwabes friends dug the grave we sang as they lowered his body. I didn't even wanna look at it I couldn't bear the pain. My Cousin and I were sitting behind the shack it was the day after the funeral. She was a year younger than me. 

Her:How are the rural areas?

Me:They are fine


Her:It's so cool the boys are hot. 

I smiled. 

Me:That's nice.

Her:Any boyfriends? 

Me:No I'm still young.

Her:What?I'm younger than you and I've had sex.

Me:Sex?Yoh hayiwhat did your mom say? Her:They gave her the damages she's cool now.

Me:Heh Asemahle you know sex.


Nkoliso disturbed us he was Masonwabes friend 


Him:Are you fine?

Me:I am. 

Him:If anyone messes with you I'm here okay?

Me:Thanks I have to go.

Gogo was in the kitchen you could see she was torn but she tried being strong Uncle:Don't you think it would be good if we take with you?

Kazi:Who will be left with granny? Me:Malumekazi is right I can't leave gogo alone.

Gogo:She needs to finish grade 11 futh. Uncle:It was just a suggestion9

Kazi:Where's my Asemahle?

Me:I think she's outside.

Uncle:Did I tell you we have a son?


Uncle:He's five months old. 

Gogo:Where's he pho?. 

Uncle:With his grand parents.

I gave them space I did not wanna hear their conversation. I woke up early the next day I wasn't going to school but I wanted to fetch water. I saw Masonwabes grave dug out I went closer. He was laying on top of a blanket no coffin whatsoever I screamed very loud Gogo and uncle came to me I just kneeled and cried.

Gogo:Oh umntano mntanam.

Me:They stole his coffinwho could do something so cruel? Why God?Why?


Gogo:Who would do such a thing? Uncle:Mah Is this witchcraft?

Gogo:Mntanam you wouldn't know in this time we live especially with so much hatred in this community. 

Kazi:Yoh What happened? 

We all just looked at her like couldn't she see. 

Gogo:my grandchild will never recover from thisseeing her brother.

Uncle:I'll call the police and I will have to buy another coffin and we can concrete.

Couldn't he have done before?

Kazi:Shuu Ay people Are so cruel.

We see through you woman.

Gogo:Go rest.

I stood up and walked away Asemahle walked out of Masosos room stretching Her:Morning why were you screaming?

I looked at her Her:Oh my Lili what happened?

Me:They dug out his grave. 

Her:I'm sorry bra. 

She hugged me and I broke out of it I went to sit at the fire. This was just too much after about two hours I heard gogo call me. The police were already there too. 


Her:The police want to ask you questions.

I looked at them.

Police:Is there anyone who passed here? Me:I wouldn't know.

Police:Can you tell us what happened?

I gave him the really look. 

Me:Gogo I don't think these people will do anything I mean we have no suspects at all and they are not gonna take any fingerprints. 

I left them stunned. Truth be told the police don't care about us poor people and this was a waste of time and it would cause more heart ache. I sat behind the shack till late Asemahle and them even left I wasn't even bothered though. The following day I prepared for school. How I miss you my dearest brother I missed him a lot. When I got to school it was all eyes on me I didn't know whether it was because of my hair or my swollen eyes or maybe they heard. My class teacher called me outside.

Her:are you okay?

Me:Yes I am ma'am.

Her:I heard what happened

Me:What happened ma'am?

Her:Yes the stolen coffin.


Her:Asive she was really concerned she even suggested you stay at home as this might be very traumitizing.

Me:With all due respect my grand mother is the one who applied for me at this school therefore only she and I have the right to say i need a breakif you don't want me at your class just tell me maybe the principal might have a chat with us.

Her:Yoh I didn't know you can talk this muchbuy t what I heard is giving me a hard time. 

Me:I can't really help thatMa'am I need to catch up on my work. 

I went back inside i was tired of peoples opinions about myself. I've heard people say colourds are violent and these people are pushing me to the edge. During break I was learning at my hide out point this is where I was able to study I was disturbed by people who were surrounding me Asive was at the front

Her:I heard they dug your brothers grave. 

I looked at my books.

Her:It must be sad. 


Her:Wow finally she speaks I thought they operated you and removed your voice box. Me:I assumed you were clever than that. Her:Your brother ĺeft you his backbone? 

No she didn't. I stood up and looked at her. Me:Why are you shouting?You already have the spotlight don't you ?And please don't ever talk about my brother like that

Her:Or what?

Me:Did I promise something or you scared I might?

Her:Scared?Of you? 

Me:Asive give me so spacee. 

Her:I will I can't afford your grand mother near my familys corpses doing her voodoo. Me:What?

Her:We all know that your gran gran is a witch.

I slapped her

Me:Don't. I mean don't ever say something like that or I will strangle you to death 

She held her cheek. 

Her:Did you? 

Me:I did and I'm not scared of you you're not God nx 

I walked away. 


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