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Ntombikayise Ndabeni

"It's like you ma mirror

My mirror staring back at me.

I couldn't get any bigger oh

With anyone else besides of me"

I bit my lower lip he felt my presence and looked at me with a smile on his face. He continued his dance with Nonkwenkwezi who kept laughing Msimelelo was taking a video I'm certain his father instructed him to do so.

Senzi:"Mami."

Me:"Senzi."

He kissed my lips deeply well that was until his daughter grabbed my weave.

Senzi:"I want you."

He whispered against my lips I gasped and moved away. I turned around and walked to our bedroom feeling his stares on my butt. I giggled when I made it to our bedroom. I quickly undressed and sat on the bed with my legs sprawled I only had my matching bra and a thong which was now hidden by my flesh because of its tightness and well I did gain a bit. He walked in and squinted his eyes.

Senzi:"Sthandwa sam."

Me:"Baby."

Leaving work I was certain I will shower and throw myself on the bed but not when you have a snack as a husband that is also a sex addict but we both are addicted to each other. When he was done with me he threw me over his shoulders spanking my ass.

Me:"I love your ass."

He stopped walking I gave it a squeeze it was so firm and strong I'm jealous of his fitness.

Senzi:"Baby that shit makes me feel gay."

He put me down.

Me :"I know but I'm the only one who grabs it right?"

I wiggled my eyebrows he just chuckled clicking his tongues. Well 2 kids and 8 years later we were still standing. Of course love isn't easy marriage is the worst but we worked on our differences which weren't much and here we are. We have our 7 year old son Msimelelo and there's daddys pancake she is 6 months and my is she forward. These past years have been good Senzis self esteem was back to hundred and well for me 2 tattoos led to plenty more. I actually want something big maybe my kids faces but I did say I want 6 and I'm not even halfway there so I will just do my husbands face. We are still the same old people except life challenges change and some can be overcome while others can't However it's always up to us what we decide to do. Because at the end of the day we have each other.

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.

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Sithabile Thusi

His grunts echoed the entire room his hands pressed down my  stomach as he did what  his friend always does. He pulled out and quickly removed the condom spilling his load on my stomach. This whole time my eyes were fixed on my mothers picture that was on my headboard. He kissed my cheek.

"Get up.Go clean yourself."

I stood up with my legs vibrating I balanced myself against the wall walking to the bathroom. I poured the salts Thusi bought me and got inside the tub I hugged my body staring at the water as tears fell.

Me:"God give me strength to carry on."

I got out of the tub after sitting there for almost an hour I stood in front of the mirror and looked at the bites on my breasts and shoulders. They belonged to my dad his friends whom I call uncle always makes sure he doesn't mark be because dad is superior than him. This all started as a business dealmy father had been taking care of us with the help of Sophia who was our help. He came to my room crying and begging me just last year. Looking at him like that broke me just last year. Looking at him like that broke me he begged me to allow Mr Khusi to do as he pleases. That's when his friend broke my virginity after that my dad was the one who raped me because he didn't want me and my brother to have a step mom so I had to take that or my brother would take it from the back. He even did it in front of me once Lwazi couldn't even look at me for a whole month because he was ashamed. Him and I are only a year apart and we live in this household with our father Sophia doesn't stay here she comes in the morning and leaves in the afternoon so she has no idea what happens in this household. Mr Khusis escapades are unknown by my father he made me promise to not tell him otherwise he will be fired. I don't know the type of business they are in but we have guards always walking around Mr Khusi always has a cigar and his fingers have rings.

MrKhusi:"Your dad will be here why aren't you dressed?"

I jumped at his voice I didn't even notice he was in the room.

Me:"I'm sorry."

Ever since the rape I hadn't been normal and that goes on to dating. I am always jumpy and I don't like boys at all. I'm 19 and upgrading my grade 12Lwazi is 18 we are a year apart.

MrKhusi:"Are you going to choir practice?"

Me:"Yes."

MrKhusi:"I am going to give you a ride."

I nodded and took my Bible following him. Lwazi was in the living room eating he looked at me then Mr Khusi I shook my head at him and smiled.

Me:"I'm going to church."

I could see his nose flare but he didn't say anything he didn't have room to say anything . Mr Khusi opened the door for me I held my Bible close to my chest as he drove of. He pulled up my dress I closed my eyes as his rough hands brushed my thighs

MrKhusi:" Don't you think we should tell your father about us that way we can be together freely."

I looked at him with shock I quickly wiped my tears.

Me:"Together?"

MrKhusi:"Just think about it we will talk okay."

He shoved his finger painfully I screamed in my entrance he pulled it out and sniffed it then he smirked.

MrKhusi:"You can go."

I jumped out of the car with legs shakingoh God why do I  have to live like this. Two men I once looked up to? Two men my mother trusted to take care of me when she diedtwo men I also trusted with my life and my brothers. These two men are the very same men that saw nothing but a vagina when they looked at me they didn't see anything to protect but a timid 18 year old to rape anywhere anytime their penises rose. It's the life I lived and I knew my brothers life was at stake dare I say anything.


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