He comes in the wee hours of the morning smelling like a brewery as well as ass.
"You're still up?"-Sizwe
He looks at me like his shocked that I waited for him so I nod at him still seated on the couch in his bedroom.
"Are you calm? Can we talk?"-me
"There's nothing to talk about between the two of us you've already made up your mind... You're leaving"-Sizwe
He starts undressing while standing next to the bed and throws the clothes on the floor.
"I don't want to leave with us on a bad note babe"-me
He looks up at me and shakes his head with a brief chuckle.
"You don't want to leave with us on a bad note?"-Sizwe
He looks at me and that sounded like a rethorical question so I stay quiet and nod at him.
"It won't stop will it?"-Sizwe
"I'm not starting anything I'm being genuine. You don't love me enough to chose me over your American dream do you?"-Sizwe
He looks hurt but it'll heal with time. It heals everything even the heartbreak of your first love.
"I... I'm sorry"-me
He shakes his head and sits on the bed burying his face in his hands.
"That doesn't fix anything get out"-Sizwe
There's a heartbeat in my head. No the head is pounding I'm not supposed to be crying at the words.
"I'm not throwing our relationship away because I love you"-me
I take a few strides closer to him and inhales a sharp breath before standing up too.
"Where am I supposed to go?"-me
"The guestroom I'm not kicking you out"-Sizwe
I chuckle bitterly before turning to the door and walking out after slamming it behind me.
I turn the light on as I walk into the guest bedroom and close the door. I can't believe I left home to be subjected to this bull.
He turns the door knob and the door creaks open but I don't turn to look at him from where I'm standing.
"I'm sorry but try to under..."-Sizwe
"I do loud and clear"-me
I interrupt himmid speech and he nods. He's shirtless and barefoot the only he has on is the dark blue jeans he was wearing earlier.
"You can come back to the bedroom if you're..."-Sizwe
"I'm fine here you need space"-me
sit on the bed and I sit on the chair of the dressing table.
"You'll be thousands of kilometres away from and for I don't for how long"-Sizwe
"You'll wait for me won't you?"-me
I bite my lip to stop it from quivering and clear my throat with a nod.
"Uhm surI understand"-me
I look at him nodding and he exhales loudly.
"I love you"-Sizwe
"We could make it work"-me
"Long distance is a deal breaker for the both of us especially if your continents away from me"-Sizwe
He gets up and his palms on his jeans then walks over to me.
"If you're mine by destiny then we'll gravitate back to each other... Naturally"-Sizwe
He leans closer until our face are a few inches away from each other and I swallow nothingness.
"If we're not?"-me
"Then we'll have to live with knowing that our love wasn't written in the stars in the first place"-Sizwe
He kisses my cheek and stands up straight looking down at me and sighs.
He smiles briefly but it doesn't reach his eyes and walks out as I'm left in a pool of thoughts.
I get up and walk to the bed and get under covers while still fully clothed. I'll be fine we'll gravitate back to each other naturally.
I close my eyes and sleep. Sizwe and I will be fine... Hopefully.
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