There ain’t really much I can talk about when it comes to confused love because it is crazy. is hard to know what you are feeling to be definite but knowing when it started is harder. thing is you do not control who you talk to who you fall for and that gets confusing.At times I sit down trying to figure out how I feel and still I think I am not so sure about it. I leave now or I keep hoping that you will learn to like me back and I am just lost. may just need a map to get to where I want to be because it is so hard to figure things out. truth is I do not even want to know what is real I am so scared of things that are new.

So tell me why you are ignoring that hot guy " she asked 

That's why you had to disturb my studies" I asked 

Just give him a chance to prove to you " she said 

Look I have a test next week " I said 

Why do you act like a baby" she asked

Anna I love you and bye " I said 

You will die alone " she said 

Whatever " I laughed walking away 

I don't trust the guy I don't know why .

  So what's going on with you " jack asked 

 a guy asked me out " I said 

And than " he asked 

I swear you are act like Anna " I laughed 

How are we acting " he asked 

I started telling  him everything. 

You never know till you try babes " he said 

You and Anna Should be besties " I said 

Am serious you want to be a nun " he asked 

That's an option" I asked 

Be serious girl " he said 

Fine I will think about it " I said packing my books .

I got my school bag and went to bond on a bus going home . I got home and found people laughing in the living room.

Mum I..... I stopped when I saw her it's been like forever .

Aint you going to give me a hug " she asked 

Scar " I screamed 

Yes " she got up and hugged me 

I missed you " she said 

What happened to you " I asked with tears in my eyes 

Go to your room " mum ordered 

I couldn't let go of her hand I thought it was a dream. 

You look amazing baby girl " she said with a smile on her face 

She had put on a little weight but she still looked good she had a ring on her finger .

Thank you " I turned around 

I guess guys now are throwing themselves at you " she said 

I laughed 

What " she asked 

There is one guy who has been troubling me alot but anyway let's talk about you not me " I said 

Gist me about this guy please" she said 

I showed her the picture .

Oh my gosh that's James's brother" she said 

Really oh ok " I said sounding disappointed 

Look just go ahead babes I guess he is different from that rat " she said 

What happened to you " I asked 

While I tried calling James but upto now he hasn't reached out to me" she said ..

What about your pregnancy I mean your baby" I asked 

She is amazing she is turning two soon " she said almost tearing up .

I smiled 

You are engaged" I asked 

I met this girl she is amazing hun

she is amazing hun she is the one who helped me am in love with her " she said 

You can hear from her tone that she has found happiness .

What about Cynthia " I asked 

I don't know " she said 

Oh " I mumbled

Tell me are you going dating the guy " she asked 

What if he turns out to be like James " I asked 

Baby girl you never know till you try " she said 

I took a deep breath ..

I swear God always gives us signs but we still ignore them .

My mind was telling me to just ignore the guy but my Heart was telling me to give him a chance .

I got my phone and called him he picked up after the second ring.


Hey beautiful" him

Hey " me 

My phone even got surprised " him 

While you have been disturbing me so I needed to call you back " me 

So can I come see you " him 

Like now " me 

Yes am actually near your place" him 

Oh ok" me 

Can you please come out " him 

Sure " me 

I hung up .

I fix my face and got a mint sweet .

Where are you going" mum asked 

To buy airtime " I said 

You can't use your account" she said with her eyes fixed on the TV

It's refusing I guess it's the network " I said 

Ok baby" she said 

I rushed outside the gate and I saw him standing next to his car.

I went to were he was standing and he opened the door for me .

So how are you " he said getting to the driver's seat

Am great " I said 

Did anyone tell you that you have the most beautiful smile ever " he asked 

I just shook my head no .

Can I do something with you " he asked 

What's that " I asked 

Can I kiss you please" he said 

Kiss me " my inner self freaked out 

What '' he asked 

Nothing " I giggled 

Can I " he asked 

Sure " I said 

He leaned over and planted his wet lips on mine .

I have only kissed Scarlett but this kiss was magical I felt every bone cracking .

Woow that was great " he said 

My eyes were still closed .

I guess you still want some more " he teased 

I opened my eyes and he had a huge smile on his face 

Can I go " I said shyly 

So soon " he asked 

I told mum that I went to buy airtime " I said 

I actually have airtime so here " he said 

It's okay I have airtime just made up a story " I said 

Ooh ok sweetie" he said 

I have to go " I said 

Mwansa " he said 

Yes " I answered 

Am in love with you and I want you to be my girlfriend " he said 

Oh I didn't expect that " I thought to myself

I don't want an answer right away you can think about it " he said 

I faked a smile 

I got out of the car and I didn't know what I will answer him .

Who was that " brother Mwamba asked 

Who " I pretended not to know who he was talking about 

The guy in that black car " he asked 

Oh he used to be in my class he was around the neighbourhood  he wanted to see me " I said 

Really " he asked 

Yes brother Mwamba " I said 

Hope you are telling me the truth " he said 

I am big brother " I smiled

We went inside and found mum cooking.

Oh hey mwamba " mum said 

Hey mummy" he said 

We started chatting with my mother. 


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