Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant gorgeous talented fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others.

Mum people call me ugly"I said

Mwansa you are not ugly " she said 

You are my mother no wonder you say that" I said 

Baby you need to have a positive mind and stop acting like that " she complained

Whatever " I stormed out of the room.

She followed me in the kitchen .

Sweetie you need to remove that thought that you are ugly " she  said 

Explain to me mother everyone has a date for the school dance and I don't " I said 

She wiped my tears. 

You are beautiful if no boy sees that I think they are just blind " she said 

I took a deep breath .

Look at the time you are getting late " she said 

I looked at the watch and it was almost 7 I needed to be at the bus station .

I love you bye" I said 

Okay honey " she hugged me .

I ran to the bus station the good part i was early 10minutes early it arrived .no one wanted to sit next to me reason best known to themselves .

Hey sexy " scarlet said 

She was the only one who wanted to be my friend  by the way scarlet was a lesbian .

Am not sexy " I said 

Whatever " she laughed 

Scarlet was  was my ride and die 

So babes who is taking you to the dance " she asked 

I think I will ask my brother" I said 

The tall hot one " she asked 

Yes that one " I laughed 

If I wasn't a lesbian he would have been mine " she teased 

I laughed so hard that I got people's attention .

Your laughter is cute you know that right " she asked

I have a class" I giggled 

Scarlet always find ways to make me happy I walked in class and all eyes were on me who wouldn't starei was ugly and intelligent

i was ugly and intelligent lesa tapela fyonse (God doesn't give everything ) you might be beautiful but dumb or beautiful but God there will be one body part that will make you question God.

Today we have a quiz " our science teacher said 

Everybody groaned ..and I was happy. 

Saves you right for not studying" I whispered with a smug 

The quiz was simple I knew I passed  .

Someone is happy today " my brother said 

Hey how are you " I said 

Sorry baby sister am great how are you" he said 

Am great " I said with a smile 

I hope it's not a boy making you smile " he said 

I hope it was one but naah " I whispered 

I can't get what you have said " he said 

I said it's not a boy don't worry " I said 

I controlled my tears I don't know why I got so emotional Everytime a topic of a boy was brought up .

Mum mentioned something about your school dance " I interrupted him 

Am not going " I said 

Why kido " he asked 

I don't have a date " I said 

I will be your date " he said 

Really biggy" I said with a huge smile 

Anything for my kido '' he said 

I couldn't stop smiling while I was going to the school dance and with my big brother .

I got home and went straight to my room . checked my phone no missed call from anyone I mean only dad and scarlet calls me .

Dad and mom got divorced when I was in ninth grade I don't know why they divorced but I guess it's their lives . Dad got married last year and his wife his pregnant .

Am going with mwenya to the dance " I said jumping up and down .

That's great sweetie " she said with the brightest smile ever .

I miss brother Mwamba "I said 

His semester is coming to an endso you will see him soon " she said 

I can't wait " I said 

I have two brothers am the kasuli (last born)of course my big brother mwenya is an engineer he works for zesco and Mwamba our second born is in college he is going to be psychologist .I almost forgot mum is a nurse .

 We had supper helped mum with the dishes and went to my room to do my homework .

My phone rung and it was scarlet .

*Call conversation*

Buddy " her

You wanted to sleep without talking to me " her 

Am sorry honey " me 

It's not fair you know I can't sleep with hearing your voice" her ( sounding low)

Sometimes you would think Scarlett was my girlfriend or boyfriend (don't know what they call these things)  if she hasn't seen me she gets upsets .

Am sorry babe" me

It's fine what are you wearing " her

Black t-shirt " me

Only " her 

With a white French pant " me 

Send me a pic I want to see for myself " her

Scarlett " me 

Come on I will send you mine" her 

Send yours first " me 

She hung up .

After a few minutes she sent a text " go online"

I went online .

She sent a pic she only had a pant on .

I took a pic and send it to her .

Thanks sexy " her 

I just smiled .

One would wonder if she had a girlfriendshe does .

And her girl is pretty .

*Phone conversation*

So Cynthia is upset " her 

Why" me

I forgot her birthday" her

And you know how crazy your girlfriend gets " me

I don't know why people always make a big deal about birthday" her 

Just take her out babes " me

I don't have money "her

I just laughed

Can I take you for ice cream" her

I thought you didn't have money" me 

To take Cynthia out not you" her

Bye you are mad " me 

Bye babe" her

I hung up .

Scarlett can call even 5times a day sometimes I just ignore her my brother Mwamba thought it was a guy calling lol .you know brothers 


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