I crossed my eyes and took a deep breath if a year ago you will tell me that I will be in the streets begging for money to feed my kids I would think you are high if you would tell me that life would be hard for me I would think you are joking .

I opened my eyes as I watched my kids sleeping peaceful sleeping for me was the hardest if I sleep it would be for one hour or 30minutes .

I guess you are wondering why am a single mother on the streets right? 

While let me explain .

Me and my husband dated for 2years when I was done with high school I got pregnant but unfortunately he didn't have any money to pay for my damage charges so my husband asked my father if he could keep me for a while till he finds a job .

My late father was a kind man he accepted a week later my husband got a job at Kokola copper mine the pay was amazing we got married  when our daughter Evelyn was 5years old this were okay till one day KCM decided to lay off come workers and my husband was one of them and that same year I lost my father he was the only family I had I had no one siblings I have but I don't know where they are till today .

"You are bad luck " my husband said 

I thought he was joking till this Joke became a routine he would use it everyday and sometimes I would be worried because my husband was thinking I was bad luck to him.

Life is stupid sometimes I tell youif you don't think life is unfair sometimes woow congrats but to us life is useless and unfair

When our second born was born my husband got a job in Lusaka we moved from Kitwe to Lusaka he worked for this construction company when the roads project were done my husband was jobless again .

He found another job which he worked for a month and after he got paid he lost his job again .

When he lost his job he took his anger me that day he beat me up and chased us out of the house imagine a 9 year old and  a 3year old where do I go? I don't know Lusaka that well.

People say when you sleep you forget your problems

where do I go? I don't know Lusaka that well.

People say when you sleep you forget your problems but when I sleep I only dream about my problems I don't remember when last I bathed I don't remember when I brushed my teeth even when I last I changed my clothes .

Is God a God of all or he chooses who to bless?? 

"Mummy my stomach hurt " Eveyln complained 

"Am sorry baby it will stop okay " I told her

My children haven't eaten since morning I wasn't lucky in finding anything to eat .

I tried sleeping but it wasn't possible can you imagine from sleeping on a comfortable bed to sleeping on a cardboard .

When I saw the sun risingI got up and told Evelyn to watch her brother while I go look for food .

"Sir am kindly asking if you can help me  even a coin " I begged a man who was depositing money 

He glanced at me as If I was disgusting .

I might have been smelling but still .

"Sir " I tried touching him 

"Stop can't you see the way you are looking? you are so dirty your friends out there are going house to house to look for piece of work while you here is waiting for people who are depositing money this money did I tell you that  its mine huh ?" He yelled that people stared .

"Am really sorry sir I didn't mean too please " I said trying to fight back tears 

"Some of you ain't beggers you just want money for junta ( spirits / alcohol) atase " he said 

I turned and walked away 

I wiped my tears and continued walking it was still cloudy outside since it was raining yesterday .

I saw a white man having donuts I Stood very far cause I know white people don't eat that much 

He was having a conversation with a black man who was having wings I could see from where I was standing but knowing my Zambian people  don't like wasting food .

As I anticipated the white man got up and I walked slowly I didn't want to scare them with my smell he was about to throw the donuts in the trash bin .

By the way I speak great English I was one of the brightest student at my school .

"Sir good morning please don't throw those away " I said 

"Why " he asked looking at me 

"I need to feed my little children " I said 

I was standing like 2meter away from him .

"But it will be wrong " he said 

This man was tall he was wearing lenses he had a ring on his finger and he had a potbelly but not that one we could be scared of . 

He gave me the donuts and asked me to wait .

There were four and it was enough for us .

He came back with two plastic bags with food .

"Here " he said with a smile 

I knelt down as tears flow down my face. 

"Get up and don't cry " he said 

"Thank you so much sir thank sir " I said getting up wiping my tears .

"Take care of your self and your kids "

"Sir may you never lack in your life may God always bless you always "


He gave me money I didn't even check how much atlest it was something .

He left and I went straight to the unfinished building where we were sleeping .

"Come you eat " I told the kids I reached

"Mummy you bought all these food" Evelyn asked 

"No a kind man did " I said 


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