If we had a chance to write our own stories do you think people would be suffering in this world ? If we we're given an opportunity to choose our destination where would you be right now ?
Sometimes life is unfair right ?
Happiness only exist to those who have money or even those who are poor I don't know
Let me stop ratting and introduce myself
My names are Lucia Chileshe am a rape victim life hasn't been easy but anyway let me take you through my journey ..
I wish we all had a book were all our stories are written you can choose and say God please change the script for this one or please change my story to something else because I can't take the pain of all this things that will happen to me .
I wish God would tell us a brief story about our lives let's look at in the biblein the book of Genesis right it talks about the creation of heaven it talks about how God created Adam than added his partner ... The story goes on I know you are lost let me elaborate on that
I wish the way God had a plan for Adam before his wife convinced him of eating the fruit I knew our lives are told while in our mothers womb I wish God can just say my friend your life will be full of pain and sadness pain and sadness will be the title of your story ... Sometimes I wished my parents named me pain or sadness it would make a lot of sense than Lucia .. Don't you sometimes think and say but this name doesn't suit me you look at the person who was the original owner of the name and you wondered how she lived a beautiful happy life and you lived a different life don't you wonder ?
Do you think am.wrong to think like that ?
I was only 8years old when my step father started taking advantage of me he would strip me naked in the midnight of the night and rape me .
Let me take you back a bit ..
When my father died mother's family suggested that she got married it was a year later after my father death her family suggested that its better she got married and have more kids since she only had me I just didn't get why should you be forced to get married to another man if you don't want to .. My father's family was shocked when they heard the news and they decided to distant themselves away from us they were hurt knowing very well that mum only mourned my father for a year.
I remember one of my aunty's (mom's sister)was against the marriagesaying it too soon and one thing that I still remember her saying was "Maria never trust a man especially if he is going to be a step father to a girl child yes there are many great step father out there but some men are beasts " she sai
My grandmother snapping at my Aunty she called her all sorts of names .
"You are just jealous that your sister can find a man and you can't " grandmother snapped at aunty
I looked at mum and she put me on her laps
"I promise you no one will ever hurt you " My mother said
Looking back I wish I never believed her I wish I told her that woman stop lying but I was a naive 8year old .
When mum got married the first few months it was all good we played a happy family and I didn't miss my dad often cause I was a daddy's girl my father loved me because Lucia was his mother's name she died in a car accident ..
When she died he always prayed to have a baby girl.
My step father would bring me giftsTo icecream
It was a rainy day when my step father walked in my room at the mid of night
"Remove your clothes" he said
"Why daddy? " its really cold "I asked rubbing my eyes
I never had any knowledge of what Rape or sex was .. At school in my time we were not taught about rape or even sex the only time you are taught all these things its when you have your menses but they will still not explain in details they will just tell you that if a boy touches you than you are pregnant ..
Nowadays a 8 or 9year old child will explain what sex is what rape is etc when we were kids our parents used to tell us about how they would come home with a baby if you ask they will answer that they bought the baby in shoprite crazy old days ...
That night I didn't know what my step father was saying but because I was a respectful child I took of my clothes he asked me to play with his manhood I played with it while he made funny noises.. He made me lay on the bed and raped me while covering my mouth with his hand
The pain I felt I couldn't even wish it on someone the pain was unexplainable .. I felt like my Lady part was ln pain but like he told me I will be okay .he made me sit in cold water after raping me .
A 8year old girl being raped by her step father its crazy right ? But we live in a crazy world right now that anything is possible
When I woke up the next morning I was in so much pain that I kept on limping .
"Lulu why are you walking like that ?''
"Daddy " I said trying to hold back tears
"What did daddy do ?"
"He put something in me it hurts mummy " I cried
"Insideyou want do you mean ?"
"He took off his clothes and asked me to play with that thing between his legs " I said wiping my tears
She took a deep breath
"Mummy it hurts " I said
"Look baby its okay for your father to do that he is preparing you for womanhood so you should let your daddy do anything he wants okay don't you want to be big like mummy ?"
"I do mummy" ...
"Let your daddy do that and in due time you will start enjoying it " she said
"How can you enjoy pain mummy "
"You will understand one day " she said facing the other side .
I believed my mother cause mothers knows best right .
Months later my mother decided to go to the village to give birth and she was one clever soul if I would see my mother right now I would clap for her imagine living her child behind I was turning 9years old in a few days .
"Mummy please let me go with you " I begged her
"Baby you know I can't but your father will take care of you " she said
"Mummy daddy will continue hurting me "
"He won't okay " she said
I would see my mother's eyes that she was going to leave me behind even if I begged for her to go with me ..
Even if I cried blood that woman would never change her mind.
My mother living me behind was the biggest mistake she made but didn't she even realise that or she was being a royal puppet to her husband .
Why do women choose a man over their child aii did she forget her labour pains?
My mother living was like telling my step father to enjoy me to the fullest even though my mother kept telling me I would enjoy itI never did I think I was traumatised with the all Rape thing .
My step Father would bring his friends to have sex with me ..
Okay even if that girl ain't your child wouldn't you protect her ?
Why inflicting pain on her ...
You should teach her how to be strong how to be a good girl how to be hard working not how to get between her legs .
"Boi you should come at 8pm so we enjoy the little meat " My step said I don't dont even know who he was talking too but I knew the meat was me that's what he used to call me .
What if I ran away atlest he won't rape me "
I got out it was like 6pm that's how I never looked back .
Did I make a mistake ?
Will my mother look for me ?
Will she even miss me ?