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#SHARON

Don't be ashamed to weep it's right to grieve. Tears are only water and flowers trees and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time and when it does the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us. Pity those who don't feel anything at all. Emotions in my experience aren't covered by single words. I don't believe in sadness joy or regret." Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I'd like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions Germanic train-car constructions like say "the happiness that attends disaster." Or: "the disappointment of sleeping with one's fantasy.

I cried like no man's business jasmine and Maria even left the room my friends didn't care about me they just watched me cry ...

they walked in an hour later with plastics for hungry lion.

you saw that guy the way he was eyeing you " jasmine said

he was hot " maria replied

those are men my dear a man that can spoil you rotten not some men " jas said

I know right " maria laughed

I knew that statement was directed to me.

I got a call from a strange number I was hoping it was Ray but it wasnt.

hey " he said

yes who is this " I answered in a low voice

Caleb you didn't save my line " he asked

why and for what " I asked

why are you so rude I just want to be your friend that's all " he said

look I have enough friends I don't need any more friends" I yelled

ok " he hung up.

what has the poor man done to you huh" jasmine yelled

how is that your business " I yelled back

my business is you keep crying for a horny stupid idiot while a good man Caleb is in love with you and is willing to make you happy " she said

do I look like I want him I just want to be your friend that's all " he said

look I have enough friends I don't need any more friends" I yelled

ok " he hung up.

what has the poor man done to you huh" jasmine yelled

how is that your business " I yelled back

my business is you keep crying for a horny stupid idiot while a good man Caleb is in love with you and is willing to make you happy " she said

do I look like I want him let me be with my horny boyfriend " I said

you are an idiot you know that the stupid guy you are crying for is busy fucking another girl in his room if you want go see for yourself and you are here crying your eyes out Nye Nye ray nyeee ray " she said

why can't you be like maria she is supportive" I said

supportive of what Sharon " maria asked

about my relationship " I said

which relationship please Sharon don't involve me in your nonsense I told you the last time that when you talking about ray don't involve me I warned you about him and you never listened to me and please if he hurts you cry from outside cause we pay for the this room together and we have the right to peace " " maria said so bitter .

you are not fair so I can't express myself " I asked

they clapped their hands.

express what why do you act like a desperate bitch aaiii" jas asked

respect me please" I shouted

what's there to respect? a man who just needs you because he feels horny when he gets what he wants he goes and you are busy polluting our ears with your noise " jas said.

jasmine was a no-nonsense kind of lady she said what's on her mind whether you like it or not whether it hurts you or not as long as it is out.

come here again and start nyee nyeee here " she said as I closed the door.

I went to sit somewhere and watched people pass by it really hurts that your friends can't support your relationship. I got up and went to Ray's room ...

hey" he said opening the door

hi" I said

I took a seat and starred at him.

Sharon am sorry that I hurt you I promise to be the best boyfriend I won't hurt you ever again I was stupid " he said

I starred at him without altering a word.

Sharon please forgive me " he said

I kissed him.

we didn't make love I had a 15:00hrs class so I left and found the two roomies busy watching a movie. I took my school bag and went to class. I got a text from Caleb.

" I didn't mean to hurt you or say anything that hurt you all I ever wanted was just a friend am new here in Lusaka and I wanted someone to show me around but anyway will find someone else have a blessed day sweetie"

I just clicked my tongue.

he thinks am cheap oh please. after class I went to Ray's room where I even slept

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