part 9 Rene's pain

Sometimes when people lie they forget and believe in their own lies. LEON Rene:Too bad we have to go back now. She gave me the puppy look. Me: Its not gonna work this time Rene.You literally did that and we had to stay here the whole week.I cant keep working over the phone.My company and employees need me. Rene: Your family also needs you.. Me: No Rene its not gonna work this time.Pack up so that we can leave. Bella: Daddy we saw an elephant at the fence side. I smilled. Me: Where are the boys? Bella: They are playing outside Me:Lets go and join them before we leave.We were at Skukuza rest camp..When we left Mopani we went to Shingwedzi then punda Maria then we ended up here at Skukuza..I wont lie this is what we needed.It has been long since i had a bit of fun. Rene: Im done we can leave now. Me: Come on guys lets leave.. We went to the car and drove back home RENE This vacation was perfect.I felt like we could stay there forever.It really hurts to leave... Leon: Babe come on nowwe cant stay here forever. Me: But i dont want to go just yet. Leon: Babe you have to attend.Your exams are starting. Oh flip i totally forgot about that.Im writing in 5days time.How can i be so careless.I started panicking. Leon: Be calm..You know you are a genious.. Me: No im not..What if i fail? Leon: You wont Me: The faith you have in me though..I will dissapoint you someday.. Leon: Until that day comes i will keep the faith. Itu: Daddy Bella is pinching me. I turned and looked at his glassy eyes. Leon: Isabella what are you doing to your brother? Bella: He is lying. Me: Bella look at him.He is crying.surely he cant cry for nothing. Jnr: She pinched him.Bella likes pinching us. Me: Bella why are you doing that? Bella: Sorry. Leon: Next time i will tell them both to pinch you. Itu was crying and couldnt stop. Me: Jump over baby you will sit on my lap. Bella frowned.... Leon started playing a song on the radio using his phone via aux cable and it was on repeat. ' Everybody wants to be loved Every once in a while. We all need someone to hold on to Just like a helpless child. Yeah Can you whisper in my ear Let me know its alright. It's been a long time coming down this road And now I know. What I've been waiting for. And like a lonely highway I'm trying to get home Oo. Loves been a long time coming' He was singing along to it all the way the i fell asleep along with the kids.. * * When i opened my eyes we were at home..I was in the car with Itu and the rest were not here. The door opened on my side. Leon: I just put the others to bed..Let me take him to bed I nodded. He took him and we walked inside. Me: Its late..Can you please go get food for us.The kids will wake up hungry. Leon: Just say you are tired.Dont say its late. Hail: Did i hear food mentioned? Me: Hao you didnt leave? Hail: Who was gonna take care of your house? Leon: Im tired but i have to drive to PLK right now.Dad called and there is an emergency at home. Me: But babe how will you drive in your tired state? Hail: I will drive.Besides i have been planning of going back.Philip has been calling non stop. Me: Oh okay. Hail: Please take Junior to his granpa tomorrow. Me: Okay i will. Leon: Take care of my chidren. Me: I will. TANISHA Its been a week and i have been tailing Joe without him noticing and its real that he hadnt left Kagiso..This time i must admit that i have lost the battle..I have lost him but honestly it doesnt hurt because ny mind tells me that karma will visit him for all the hearts he broke.I am not gonna cry for him no more.I have waisted my emotions for someone who doesnt even care.It was stupid of me to believe that happily ever exists even after i witnessed my parents going through a downfall..I still cannot believe dad is still seeing Joe's mother..I just wish i finish school and get a job far from this place so that i can start afresh somewhere.This place has got alot of memories both painful and good. JOE I havent spoken to Nisha in a week..I last saw her the day i left her sleeping in her room.Its like she disappeared from the surface of earth.. Piet: Hey man your girl asked me to give you this. Me: What is that? Piet: Its a letter. I took it and tore the envelope open.I unfolded the letter. Dear Joeseph Firstly let me express to you how thankful I am for you being the person to make me realize that I am so much more than what you made me out to be. You see in the process of me losing you I found myself and though it was a difficult process I learned alot along the way. I learned how to truly forgive because of you and how to truly love myself. It was so easy to lose sight of everything after losing you but the journey to finding myself again was life changing i grew stronger and so much wiser even though its only been a week. I learned to guard my heart while being able to still give it to people again I grew emotionally stronger and when people talk about you

I grew emotionally stronger and when people talk about you though it hurts I can smile and say that it is OK while truly meaning it. I have learned to trust again and be open with the people I love and care about most importantly I have learned how to find joy in the most depressing moments. So thank you for hurting me the way you did because without it I wouldn't be who I am today. Thank you for lying and saying that you would stay knowing that you would leave. Thank you for the hurt and the pain you caused and for breaking me down so I can build myself back up again. Thank you for the tears you made me cry and for all the times you made me feel like I was not good enough thank you for being you and all that came with that. Please do not think for a second that I hate you for leaving or doing all the things you did because I do not. However do know you were the person that hurt me the most and you were also the person that taught me the best. Thank you for all your lessons!! Sincerly Tanisha. I frowned.How did i forget so fast about my love for her.Was i that much blinded by Kagi's love or the so called new love?

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