Part 1

Am i a bad mother? Is it fair on my son to move on with life like he didnt exist?
Its been four years now but no sign of him.His case is one of the cold cases.My son was never found…I had to get on with life like this didnt bother me whereas it did..Relationship between me and Leon was not the same as before.We lived like strangers.He was always travelling on his business trips..Sometimes i felt like he was running away from all this…
Bella.Well Bella was now 5years of age…My son would have been 4 today…
Bella: Mommy!! Mommy.
Me: Yes love.
Bella: When is daddy coming back home
Me: Im not yet sure my love.
Bella: He is always away.
I could see the sadness in her eyes that she missed him.I then realised how i miss him aswel.
Me: Cheer up my love.He will get back soon.
Leon: Who will get back soon?
Bella: Daddy!!
Leon: Yes my love..Missed me.
Bella: Bella missed daddy.
Leon: Im here now..
I stood up and went to “our” room.
I just dont get why he is pushing me away whereas its not my fault that our son was stolen.
Well i am currently studying diesel mechanic at sir val duncan TVET college.I chose to study here because it was hard to leave after our son was stolen.I managed to get 5 distinctions in my major subjects and i couldnt be more proud.I received a study Bursary from Foskor company but then i had to turn it down since i wasnt ready to leave home.Im now doing my N6 and after that i will have to apply for Appi so that i can get trade test and look for a job.This is not my dream job but then what choice do i have left when all my age mates are almost done with university.
My little boy was playing outside..Its pretty obvious that he is a mixed breed and when he grows up he is gonna question us about this…In all this four years i have grown to love and adore him like my own..People may judge me as to why i would steal someone’s child but i was desperate and besides its not like she needed him.It wasnt long that she was roaming around the streets homeless with her daughter..She is still young to be a parent and this is also a payback for sleeping with my husband..Speaking of him hmmm he is such a fool to believe what i said to him..For him to believe that this is my cousin’s child who died giving birth..
Brad: And what are you thinking about that is making you smile like that?
Me: Just how blessed i am to have you boys.
Brad: We are also lucky to have you.
I have come this far to ruin it all..This is my opportunity to have my own family.
Life has been well for me.Im so over making Rene’s life hard besides Joe and i are growing stronger in love and i can say life has been amazing.

Helvetica sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: center;">Well that is from my love life side..When coming to family things took a drastic turn.Mom is currently filing for divorce since dad refuses to leave his mistress and is still insisting on taking her as a second wife which will only complicate things because that would mean Joe’s mom will be my step mom then Joe will be my step brother…All this is so hard on mom.She is always at work keeping herself busy..She leaves early and comes back very late.She doesnt even eat her food..
Val: Penny for your thoughts..
Me: Hi
Val: Where is you mind at?
I turned and looked at her..There was something strange about Val.Its like she has changed the past four years.Sometimes i would find her talking on her own…Sometimes she would snap at me.One thing that made me be scared of her somehow was the day she was holding a knife and said she would stab me if i ever ended our friendshipit was like she was obsessed or something.
Val: Im talking to you Nisha.
Me: Im sorry..i was just lost in my thoughts.
Val: And what thoughts are those?
Me: Well how old my child would be now…You know at this point i feel like God punished Rene for killing my child by taking hers.
Val: Thats true..Anyway did i tell you that i met this other guy or should i day man.
Me: Hmmm its about time you moved on hey…Anyway tell me about him.
Val: He is handsome and when i say handsome i mean he is more handsome that Leon.
Me: Did you really have to compare the two?
Val: Well you know very well how much i liked your brother.
Me: Okay now go on.
Val: He said he moved here four years ago with his wife and son.
Me: Eh babe he is married?
Val: Where do you think women get men? They get them from other women so please dont judge.
Me: Okay i wont.Whats his name?
Val: Bradley..
Me: Nice name…I hope the person is also nice.
Val: Very much…Its only a matter of time that i take over as the queen on his heart since im youngbeautiful and fertile.
She said the fertile part brushing her stomach.
Me: And then?
Val: My friend im expecting..
Me: And here i was thinking that your are concerntrating in your school while you are doing the opposite.
Val: Baby girl i am focusing on my books just that u also found a new destruction nje.
Me: Well i wont judge you cause this is university…And now i know why you are so distant to me.
Val: Let me take you out to town.
Me: As long as im not paying.
Val: Well dont worry about that..The bill is on me.
Well currently Val and i are at University of Limpopo.Its not where we wanted to study but then Joe chose to study here so i didnt have that much of a choice.

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