part 8 dear fear

MZWAKE I have been here for four months and my relatiinship with Kazi was great..We have grown more fond of each other.We talk almost everyday.Temptations? Well they are hey and i can say i like this other girl by the name of Joy but im afraid to approach her because of my live for Kazi....Talking about Kazi she told me that she just made new friends.I noticed that they even tag her on facebook.When i searched them i didnt like what i saw.They were always checking in on clubs even during the week.Its like their lifr revolve around parties.Im afraid that if Kazi hangs out with them its gonna change in a bad way.. SIPHOKAZI There literally no use fussing over someone who is miles away from me.I dont even know if he is faithful to begin with.Im the one who always calls him..Im even thinking of giving up.Yes he gets food and rent allowence even pocket money from his bursary but he doesnt even think of me at all.Sometimes dating a poor guy is a disadvantage...I need gifts aswel to show that im loved..All that Zee does is tell me of his undying love for me but what proof does he provide?. My parens send me money but its not enough.Tertiary life is expensive if you want to fit in. Pearl: Roomie come on now i have been telling you that if you join me and the girls things will change.Stop being occupied in your thoughts Pearl is a talldark skinned beautiful girl.I dont even remember the last time she went to attend.All she does is partyparty and more party.I cant keep up with her lifestyle.Im here to learn not be a party animal.I have to make my parents proud of me.. Pearl: Come on girl just for tonight.If you dont enjoy it then you will quit on first attempt. Okay just for tonight only. Pearl: We will be going with our partners but then i will hook you up with Jonny he is Anaga's friend.. Me: Is Anaga a name? Pearl: Yes he is my nigerian blesser.. Me: No comment on that girl. Pearl: Go shower so thata we can get ready for the night. Me: I am but Pearl please no hookup.I will be riding solo. Pearl: If you insist Mrs Nkosi It was already late so i went to take a shower When i was done i lotioned and wore a skinny jean and a tank top with sneakers. Pearl: Thank God you are done.I have been done for a long time. Me: You are a pro at make up.You do it fast without a mistake. Pearl: You are exeggerating Siphokazi. Me: Can we go before i change my mind. Pearl: Yes lets go..Anaga is waiting for us. Me: Okay. We walked out and there was a black range rover outside near the gate. She got in the front seat and i sat at the back seats. Pearl: Hey babe Anaga: My one and only. They shared a kiss. Pearl: Love this is my friend Siphokazi .Kazi this is thee Anaga He looked at me and smiled. Anaga: Nice to meet you Kazi.You are beautiful. Me: Nice to meet you aswel.And thanks. He drove away while they had a conversation.We later arrived at the club.. When we got out of the car i got a chance to look at Anaga clearly.He looked like he was on his late 30s or early 40s.He was broad and tall. We walked in and went to the vip section.. They introduced me to everyone.Then there was another guy who was sitting alone. Anaga: And this one is Ikechukwu but we call him Ike.The only space was next to him..All this guys were buffed up like they work on their muscles everyday...Ike was handsome though.He had good looks unlike the other ones.. I sat next to him. Ike: Hoe are you Uhhhm Me: Siphokazi Ike: Im gonna have a hard time pronouncing that.I will just call you beautiful. I blushed.We kept a random conversation since the others were doing the same..We were now drinking and i was tipsy.Its my first time drinking. One thing about me is that im pretty good at dancing deep house music.Back home they called me majaivane which means a dancer..My baby by Lady Zamar was playing and my feet were really forcing me to stand up because this is my song with Zee.And oh he is also a good dancer.Most of the time its him who teach me new dance moves. Me: Girls lets goa and dance. They looked at me like i said something wrong. Me: Iyo. I got up and went to the dance floor which was not at the vip section but they could see me clearly from where i was. I went to the dj and asked him to start the song from the start and he did.. I smiled when i realised that i was the only one on the dance floor even though the club had alot of peoplewell thats how big it is. From my first moves i could feel eyes fixed on me but i didnt care.. I danced until the song came to an end.People started cheering.I went back to the vip section. They also started cheering but the girls were grumpy except for pearl who was excited. Pearl: Wow roomie that was awesome.why didnt you tell me that you can dance? Me: I also didnt know i can do that. We laughed. Anaga: My man this one is for keeps.Imagine her doing that to you in bed...She will shake you till you groan her name. They laughed. Well Ike was not that old and it made me wonder why he is hanging out with this older men.He looks like he is in his middle 20s or maybe late 20s...I sat next to him again..We all engaged in one topic and all i can say is its nice hanging out with them.I wont hestitate to do this again. CHARITY Well all i can say is life with Tebello was good even though we have been hiding out relationship from my parents.I only slept with Tebello ones and that was when he broke my virginity.He agreed that we would start doing that when my parents know about us..I have a month feeling a bit off now..I would wake up sick and its really not good because i have been missing my classes at the college.Im doing N3 of civil engineering..Today was yet another that i was feeling off.I was in class attending.I was feeling very hot that i stood up to go outside but i collapsed while i was talking to the lecture to allow me to go out... * * I woke up at a clinic bed. Nurse: Oh you are up. Me: How long have i been out? Nurse: They brought you here 30 minutes back Me: What is wrong with me? Nurse: You are 2months pregnant. I looked at here and laughed but she had a serious look on. Me: What? You are serious? But how? Nurse: You had unprotected sex 2months back and you got pregnant thats how. Tears filled my eyes.Right this moment i know in finished.

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