After Siya Lost his parents a lot of things changed he changed I wasn't sure if it was just the grief stage or he was never going to be the same again. We grew apart even though I truly tired to hold things together and always assure him that I was there for him but it's like it wasn't enough it almost felt like we were also broken and there wasn't anything left in our relationship. We didn't talk like we used to he would leave for work before I wake up and come back when I'm already asleep smelling like a brewery even on weekends it was the same thing. Siya wasn't really into going out and all that because almost all his friends were lawyers so they always did chilled stuff not clubs so it was a bit of usual for me but it mostly hurt me and I tried so many times talking to him but it would need up being a fight.
Siya totally lost himself and got caught up in all the pain it was almost like he didn't want to accept things as they were he escaped reality with drinking. Everything was just empty I was also getting used to our new routine waking up without siya foxing things for Noah then going to work come back cook then iron everyone's things for the next day take Noah to bed then work until I fall asleep hear siya get in bed smelling alcohol and cold sometimes I couldn't tell if it was perfume or alcohol but I wouldn't say anything o would just go back to sleep then wake up to the next thing it was ridiculous but I tolerated it because Siya was going through a hard time or that's just what I said to comfort myself.
My friends knew about the whole thing not that I told them but they saw it it was a Friday afternoon Noah was at a sleep over so I was just with Busi in the house listening to music and having wine.
Busi : how long are you going to put up with this?
Me : with what?
Busi : don't act dump with me
Me : I really don't know what you are talking about
Her : where's Siyamthemba?
Me : out
Her : out where?
Me : I don't know he didn't come back form work
Her : he always does that and you're okay with not knowing your man's where abouts?
Me : No but he needs space so I'm giving it to him
Her : so getting drunk everyday is your idea of space? Going to clubs and probably hooking up with girls
Me : you don't know that
Her : that's what drunk men do at clubs especially the ones that leave their girls back at home
Me : Busi please
Her : No my friend enough is enough now
yes his going through a really hard time but that doesn't give him audacity to do you like this no I refuse Awonke
Me : what do you want me to do Busi? What? Walk out leave him like this?
Her : No talk to him make him see that his destroying you and what you have tell me when last did you look him in the face and had a proper conversation
Me : it's been a while
Her : exactly then you need to put your foot down! You are there for him why does he act all single his ungrateful I tell you and if you are scared that you'll be harsh on him then uzogqibela unendoda sisi kanti ushiyeke nendlu
I took a deep breath
Me : I just don't want to be insensitive
Her : or you are scared to find out your worst fear
Me : what fear?
Her : that maybe his cheating
Me : how can you even think that Busi? Yes he drink but I don't think he would do that
Her : Yewethu sisi Men overcome pain in the weirdest ways that you probably don't want to know so if you don't qoqosha what's yours you'll remember this night
Me : he once cane to bed smelling like perfume but maybe I just imagined it I'm sure it was booze or something
She laughed in disbelief
Her : you just said perfume and no one knows perfume like a woman so if you smell perfume oh its perfume my love not something else that you try to substitute it with smell the coffee my love and stop giving Siya credit that's probably what drives him to where ever he spends his days
Me : it's a mess neh?
Her : big time stop sugar coating it no matter how broken he is but this is wrong
Me : i'll talk to him but what if things get out of hand ?
Her : you mean if he doesn't listen?
Me : Yeah
Her : then you take your things and go back to your apartment
Me : God this is harder than I thought
Her : I know and you don't deserve this not after what you've been to Siya
Me : Ngapha Ngu Sane and going all AWOL on me for months now Siya is acting like a jerk I'm not lucky with men neh?
Her : join the club at least wena you manage to be with a man more than a month mna?
We both laughed
Me : hay kaloku wena ayithethwa eyakho
Her : mxm shut up hey how's your mom?
Me : she's okay I guess been acting a little weird lately
Her : you should check up on her
Me : when things are sorted this side i'll go home
Her : everything is just all in once place but my friend you can fix it I know you can
Me : I will give it my best shot
We stayed up until around midnight just laughing and talking about everything Siya walked in drink as usual he greeted then threw the keys on the table and walked to the room
Busi : I think I should go
Me : ha.a you promised to sleep over
Her : maybe some other time babe when the devil isn't so devilish
Me : hay Busi don't say that
Her : ndiyahamba my friend please borrow me your car i'll bring it back tomorrow
Me : Okay cool you owe me though
Her : I will make it up to you
I gave her the keys then walked her out.
Me : bye
Her : Bye I love you
Me : love you too
I locked switched off all the lights then went to the room Siya was taking off his clothes
Me : this has to stop
Him : what?
Me : don't act stupid you know what I'm talking about
Him : even if I did I'm a man Awonke you don't tell me what to do
Me : oh really? Well your actions ain't manly
He came to me then pushing me to the wall and stood against me
Him : what did you say?
Me : Ngoku uzokwenzani? You gonna hit me? Go ahead Siya I'm sure that would give you so much pleasure
Him : I don't lay a hand on a woman unless I'm making love to her
He annoyingly smiled then kissed me on the lips and went to get in bed