part 12 ecstasy

Siya : or maybe she was really asking for her friend Me : No its about Sane I have to warn him Siya: what? Me : I have to warn him Siya : I heard you the first time why would you do that? His a grown man Me : the father of my son Siya : this has nothing to do with your son Me : how do you know? Him : Awonke Sanelisiwe will still marry her even if you warn him this Is non of our business his just going to think you trying to stop him from getting married Me : I don't care at least i'll know I tried to warn him what if she kills him Siya? Then what? My son will grow without a father Him : wow is this even about Noah or you are just happy to jump at the chance to stop him from getting married? Me : why does it matter? Him : so it doesn't? Me : look I just wanna tell him what his fiance said that's all Siya : why? What is that gonna change? Me : he'll know Siya : and then what? He won't marry her? Me : why are you like this? Siya : because you seem happy to warn him about this and you are so convincing that you don't want him to get married and it's really confusing right now Me : so what if I don't? Siya ; then I would want to know why? Me : because ever since he met her he changed Him : she didn't force him to change I'm sure it was his choice why do you wanna get involve in this and complicate things? I'm pretty sure she wouldn't kill him otherwise she wouldn't have asked me but searched it online Me : maybe she won't kill him but she's still behind something Siya : and that affects you how? Isn't that you make your own choices he makes his? Me: I don't care siya I'm telling him! He kept quiet and looked at me for a while Him : can you answer something for me ? Me : yes Him : do you still love him ? Me : his the father of my son Him : you haven't answered me Me : why are you being like this? Siya : because you want to get involved in something that doesn't concern you yes I would understand if this was a threat to Noah but it's not it has nothing to do with him but his father who is a grown man why are you trying to protect him? And don't give me the "his the father of my son" bull Awonke Me : I need to smoke Siya : okay When I was busy taking out my cigarettes Siya took his car keys and walked out. After a while I went downstairs and I couldn't see him anywhere I went to Sane Me : Sane can I talk to you? He was drunk Him : sure We walked away from the music and the crowd Me : are you sure you want to marry this girl ? Sane : why do you want me back? Then he pulled me close Me : Sane this is not a joke Him : of course I'm sure I love her and she's not a girl she's a woman Me : I don't think she has good intentions for marrying you Him : and how do you know that? Me : she asked Siya about some finance things after a divorce and stuff Him : so? Me : can't you see? She's asking these things because she wants to marry you then divorce and walk away with everything Him : I don't care I love her to that extent "then he laughed" I looked at him Sane : okay sorry no jokes though I do want to marry her I mean we are compatible we want the same things we think the same and she wouldn't do something like that I'm sure she was just asking why do you care anyways ? Me : I don't I just thought I should warn you Him : I'm a grown man I can handle this Me : oh okay Him : wait is that all or you just don't want me to get married? Me : maybe I don't you've changed Sane Him : it was about Zinhle now i've changed which one is it? Me : it doesn't matter just this whole thing doesn't feel right Him : it wouldn't to you Awonke you said we should brake up and I gave you what you wanted now it seems like you are not so sure about what you want Me : I know what I want

look forget I said anything this all looks some type of way now Him : you can tell me if you still want to try things out Me : would it matter ? Him : no I'm already with someone else now Me : and I'm with someone Him : then why are we having this conversation ? I kept quiet and bit my lower lip Him : I thought so look let's forget we had this talk yes? Me : Yeah I held my hands behind my back then started walking away I went to sit at the pool then dipped my feet and smoked. I was also starting to question myself I didn't know anymore I didn't know if deep down there was a part of me that wanted Sane or I was genuinely trying to warn him I started to think a lot but in everything I didn't want to lose Siya because my head was playing with me. I didn't want to hurt him or put him through my drama. Busi yelled from a distance.. Busi : My friend Wonke is that you? Me : yes She walked up to me then sat down she was so wasted Her : why are you sitting alone? Are you hurt? Me : No I just wanna think Her : I brought you a cider Me : No thanks Her : okay suit yourself we miss you. Hey I met this handsome guy and... I didn't hear the rest of whatever she was bragging about I was just in my own head trying to figure myself out Busi : Awonke! I startled Me : mmh Her : why am I talking alone? Me : do you think I still love Sane? Her : you know that better speaking of which I saw Siya leaving with his bag Me : what? When? Her : it was a while ago did you guys fight? Me : I have to go I ran upstairs to get my phone then tried to call him he didn't pick up I think I called about 5 times then it went to voice mail I knew he didn't want to talk to me Noah slowly came through the door Me : Big boy why are you up? Him : I'm hungry Me : Okay I'm gonna go make you something to eat neh? Go back to bed i'll bring it Him : where's uncle Siya? I want him to tuck me in Me : uhm he had to go somewhere baby mommy will tuck you in come We walked out the room Me : do you wanna go wait in your room or you wanna go eat downstairs? Him : I can eat there Me : Okay let's go I picked him up then we went to the kitchen the house was still crowded but I tried to avoid everyone. I made him a sandwich and a milkshake then sat next to him as he ate Me : do you want braaid meat? He shook his head Me : Okay Him : are you okay? Me : Yeah mommy is fine boy Him : why don't you eat? Me : I'm not hungry He looked at me then continued eating I kept trying to call Siya but eventually gave up I just left him a massage to call me back. Me : Noah? Him : Wowa Me : do you like aunt Zinhle? Him : I don't know Me : do you want to stay here with her and daddy when mommy goes? Him : no I want to go with you Me : don't you want to stay with Sane? You missed him didn't you? Him : not anymore Me : why baby? Him : I don't know Me : are you mad at him? Him : no Me : then why don't you wanna stay? Him : I don't know I took a deep breath Me : Okay finish up so you can go to bed it's late he ate then I took him upstairs and tucked him in Me : I love you okay? A lot no matter what Him : I love you too mommy I kissed his forehead Me : sleep tight Him : leave the door open Me : of course I switched off the lights then went to the room I slept in I just took off my shoes off and got under the blankies. Just when I was about to drift into sleep Sanga walked in Her : Chomy they are about to make a speech come listen I'm sure this is gonna be good Me : No I couldn't care less about that Her : what's wrong? Me : nothing I'm just tired Her : I thought you were going to be with Siya where is he ? Me : he left Her : to? Me : I don't know Sanga he just left and I really wanna sleep Her : okay we'll talk tomorrow then Me : Okay She kissed my cheek Me : please turn off the lights Her : okay She switched off the lights then left the room. I pulled the cover over me and forced myself to sleep.

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