part 4 the reason I hold on

FELICIA My mom was happy. She was so happy that she was even humming a sweet tune. I had never seen my mom this happy with me. Even when I came back from school beaming because I had gotten an award in a certain subject even when I was the top learner at school she was not that happy. All that had to happen was my sister coming home pregnant with no telling us the father of her baby and my mother's mood went from 0 to 100. All this actually gave me a moment to think about everything happening in my life. This smoking thing was a bad habit. I mean firstly it's an addiction I wouldn't be able to maintain and secondly this would make my mom kill me. I cannot give her more room to kill me. My mere existence is disappointment enough for her I can't give her more ammunition against me. I can't let the way she treats me drive me to rebellion. I cannot. I need to set a good example for my brother seeing my own sister failed to set one for me. I wish I had at least a twin sister. Someone who would understand what I am going through and be there for me. Teboho: Can you please borrow me your phone? I wanna play a game. Me: Sure. I gave him my old Nokia phone. It's usually the one he plays with. The rest of the week I spent avoiding Karabo at all costs. She was clearly a bad influence and I made it clear that I want nothing to do with her. I was actually good on my own with no friends. It was Saturday when my sister came to me. I was outside washing Teboho and I's uniform. Tumie: I was thinking. Me: Yes? Tumie: Why don't you come with me to the mall I need a few things. Me: I have to look after Teboho. Tumie: Mom is here nje. Me: You know she hardly sits still. Especially when it's Saturday. Tumie: It's her son. Go bath I'll finish up here. Me: But you all dressed up and your nails what if they break? She giggled. Tumie: You worry a lot. Now go. Me: Yes ma'am. I put my hands up as a form of surrender then I left. When I got inside the house I plugged the urn and boiled some water. When it was ready I prepared my bathing water then took a bath. I got out dried and lotioned then I wrapped a towel around my body and went to dispose the water. Tumie: I'm all done. I'll help you pick something to wear. Me: I'm capable of dressing my own body. Tumie: You mean hiding it? Me: Give me a break Togo or I'll just stay back. Tumie: Okay fine. I went back inside And into our room. We have two beds and now I had to sleep with Teboho since Tumie was here. Anyway I took out my wretched suitcase which had my clothes squashed inside. I put it on top of the bed and looked for something to wear. I ended up wearing Blue boyfriend jeans with an oversized denim shirt and my faint All star takkies. I combed my hair

I took out my wretched suitcase which had my clothes squashed inside. I put it on top of the bed and looked for something to wear. I ended up wearing Blue boyfriend jeans with an oversized denim shirt and my faint All star takkies. I combed my hair put my phone on the charger then went to my sister. Me: I'm done. Tumie: You look like a boy. Me: Not everyone likes being fake. Can we go now? Tumie: Mm. Yes. We bid the two farewell (Mom and little brother ) then we caught a taxi to town. She was busy on her phone scrolling over it. She had a long weave on her head her makeup was nicely done and she had Rihanna long artificial nails. Truth is she's even more beautiful without all the makeup. Anyway the taxi dropped us off at the mall and we got out Tumi: I wanna do my hair first. Me: Your hair is fine nje. Tumi: Hai no. I wanna take this weave off Me: As you wish madam. Tumi: Don't you wanna do something with your hair? Me: You know how my school is. Straight back or straight up only. Tumi: Straight up will suit you. You should stop hiding your beautiful Ora. Me: I'm not hiding anything. Tumi: Really? Me: Which salon are we going to? I followed her to the salon and they did her hair first before they washed and did mine. I looked different. It actually suited me. The late time I did straight up was probably when I graduated from preschool. Anyway from there we went shopping and also to the pharmacy for her meds then she bought takeaways. . BANDILE I had a hectic week. I was writing yesterday and fortunately it was my last paper. I was waiting for Melanie at Nandos since I was going to her place. While I'm waiting I saw Romeo my sister's first born. I didn't even know he was here. I waved my hand so he can see me And he did and came to my table. I got up and we shared a mainly hug. Me: So it's really you? Romeo: It's really me. What are you doing here? Me: I'm waiting for my girl. I should actually be asking you that. I thought you were in London. Romeo: I got here on Monday. He even had the accent. He's been there ever since he was still a kid but he'd come to visit once in a while. Me: What are you doing here? Romeo: I miss home. I miss my mom dad. Me: How come I don't believe you? Romeo: I'm still your elder. Me: I'm your uncle. Romeo: I'm five years older than you. Me: So? We both laughed. He sat down. Melanie was running late. Or so I thought. Romeo: You said you waiting for your girl? Me: Yeah. She's ten minutes late now. I said looking at my wrist watch. Romeo: You sure she's still coming? Me: I hope so. Romeo: I'm having a party at my house later on. You should come with your girl. Me: What if I meet my future wife there? He chuckled. Romeo: Future wife? This love shit is overrated Me: Bruh I'll drink to that. Melanie: Baby sorry I'm late I had- She stopped when she saw Romeo and I just folded my arms and looked at her. Romeo: This is your girl? Me: Yep. You guys know each other. Melanie: No we don't. Me: Why you so quick to answer? Romeo: Actually I wanna show you something. He said taking out his phone and I saw Melanie's eyes pop out. He did whatever he was doing then gave me his phone. I looked at Melanie then at the screen. Melanie: Baby I can explain.

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