" For this to work you have to be honest with me "
I stared at her. Did she know what she was asking of me? Did she understand?
I highly doubt. I didn't want to take a trip down memory lane because it's bittersweet.
I didn't want to reminisce on moments I had worked so hard to overshadow.
A part of me didn't think she's worth it.
Me: " I don't think you understand what you asking of me at this moment "
I didn't want to continue with this conversation any further. I wanted to terminate it as soon as possible cause I could feel the monster in me about to surface.
Mia: " Baby please. I'm willing to work on us if you just become honest with me "
Me: "You.. You're willing? "
This sounded crazy to me. She didn't just say that after everything I had done to her.
I didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve her forgiveness or anything.
It still puzzled me how she still loves me after everything that transpired between us.
Me: " No you can't do that. You can't love me. I don't deserve you "
Mia: " We don't choose who we love "
Me: " No. Please leave "
She looked at me tears dripping down her eyes.
Mia: " I'll drop the charges "
Me: " Don't. This is where I belong. Far from you Far from society. Please take care of Amelia for me. Tell her daddy loves her "
I could hear her sobs but this was better.
I called the guard who took me back to my cell.
The little compassion in my heart couldn't allow her to drop the charges.
I had it all planned. That I was going to plead guilty.
Maybe being away from everyone is what I need.
Guard: "Ahh Terror not so mighty are we? "
Me: " I can kill you now and no one will know about it. If I were you I'd keep my mouth shut "
I said between my gritted teeth making sure To put emphasis in every word
Guard: " You in my yard now "
Me: " For someone who just mentioned my name you seem to have forgotten it pretty soon. This is my territory now! "
He clicked his tongue and put me back in my cell.
I hadn't been sentenced yet but I was in a cell with ten other people.
I didn't care. I knew no one would touch me.
I've often been told I have eyes behind my head.
Life in prison is not what I had in my bucket list but I made my bed and I better lie in it.
My name is Kgosi Daniels. Husband of Mia Daniels and father of Amelia Daniels.
I'm 29 and this is my story.
I watched him as he played around the yard.
I had just bought him a soccer ball for his seventh birthday.
He always appreciated my little efforts. Seeing him smile will always make my day.
I don't regret it I never will.
Me: "Sbu you've been playing for too long. I miss you "
Sbu: "Come play with me mommy "
I laughed and stood up.
I knew if I didn't he would come drag me to where he's playing.
So we played until I couldn't anymore.
It was my day off . I always spend my day offs with my son.
Sbu: "I'm tired "
Me: "Me too"
We threw our arses on the ground and groaned at the same time.
Me: "I'm thirsty"
Sbu: "Me too"
Thank God it was Saturday. He would have never bunked school.
He loves school.
Every day he'd come back and tell Me what they were taught.
I could see he enjoyed it
I could see he enjoyed it even though he started off late.
He should have started the previous year at six but I didn't have enough money.
I wanted the best for him. It might not be a private school but it is reputable even though it's a public school.
At Grade 1 he was already smart.
I knew his future stood bright.
Sbu: "Mom there's a man looking for you"
I was in the backyard doing our laundry.
I wiped my hands on my dress and went out to the front.
Letlotlo: "Good day Didi"
Me: "Baby go to your room"
I didn't want to show my son my fear.
He obliged and finally I could exhale.
Me: "What do you want? "
He slapped me then choked me pulling my face to his.
Letlotlo: "You owe me"
Me: "I owe you nothing "
Letlotlo: "That's where you're mistaken I still own you"
He looked at me up and down then let go of my neck.
I was pretty sure it had marks because I bruise easily.
His hands travelled inside my pants into my panties and he smiled.
Letlotlo: "I see nothing's changed "
My name is Didintle Khoza. I'm 23 years old and single parent to Sbusiso Khoza 7 years and this is my story.