EIGHT YEARS EARLIER
I saw her again and this time she looked at me which made me smile.
Leon: "Look at you grinning like a fool"
He pushed me while laughing.
Me: "She's pretty"
He laughed loudly.
Leon: "You called a girl pretty? I'm impressed "
Me: "But she is "
Leon and I had been friends since primary school.
If I were to speak of someone who knew me and partially understood me it'd be him.
Although he is white while I'm black no one would notice.
We could say I was the coconut or he was a black guy covered by white skin.
The title wouldn't matter. All I know is he was my best friend and knew almost all my secrets.
Leon: "Your girlfriend is coming "
Me: "Coming you say "
We did our handshake as we went our separate ways.
We were in medical school. At 22 I was doing my fourth year in medicine.
Leon always accompanied me to the cottages I stayed in.
His parents weren't wiling to let go of him yet so he stayed at home with them and his little sister who was fifteen.
She threw herself in my arms but I didn't return the embrace.
Me: "It's only Monday don't I deserve the break? "
She let go of me.
We had been together for four months. Everything was going well until I saw the redhead who captured my mind.
Mind because my heart was off limits.
I saw her about a week ago for the first time and this day had been the third time.
She cleared her throat.
Cheryl: "I don't understand. I haven't seen you all weekend. I missed you "
Me: "Maybe if you had given me a little more time I would have missed you too"
Cheryl was a beautiful woman who had rather large boob's which almost looked fake.
What captivated me had been her sultry lips and her hoarse sexy voice.
I loved how she'd scream my name she'd pronounce the 'kgo' as 'kho' and it would roll nicely off her tongue.
Ooh that tongue was too long in my opinion.
She was a short frame with ginger curls and a pierced nose and lower lip.
She loved makeup and it suited her.
I always thought however that she looked more beautiful without the makeup.
We met at a club and she had allowed me to have her in the male toilets and from there I never let go.
Cheryl: "That hurts. Can we go inside? I'm freezing "
I took hold of her hand grasping it too tight as we walked into the yard.
I put my bag down after we had got into my space.
I took off my coat. Winter was hitting us hard that I couldn't even feel my cheeks.
I had to turn on the heater for some warmth.
I looked at her.
I wanted to touch her my palm was aching.
Me: "We have to talk about your lack of discipline "
Cheryl: "My lack of... Are you my father now? "
I laughed. She was insulting me.
Me: "I'm a man and that's as far as I can go "
Cheryl: "Oh. I'm sorry for uhm showing up unannounced. I really missed you and you weren't calling "
Me: "You should have tried calling me"
Cheryl: "You're right. Why are you like this? You sound like a dictator "
I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. She was sitting down Her back arched and her chest out.
Me: "You insult me now "
I was displeased with her conduct and knew if she were to continue like that I wouldn't be responsible for my actions.
I went over to the kitchen where I boiled water and made coffee for myself.
I drank it with two slices of bread while watching The news oblivious to her presence.
I knew she would try to get my attention or so I thought.
I had been so consumed by the news that I wasn't aware of her actions.
Upon turning my head she was on my bed and snoring softly.
I switched off the TV and went to her.
She was wearing leather leggings and had taken off her jacket leaving just the long sleeved top with no bra.
She was laying on her side allowing me the best view of her physique which was clearly visible even when covered by clothing.
I needed her so with one slap Her eyes shot open.
She touched her cheek.
Me: "I need you "
She knew exactly what I wanted and that washed out the shock of what I had done.
Oh if only she knew.
She kissed me like she had been waiting for this moment.
All I wanted at that point was to feel her warmth so I broke the kiss and took off her top.
I did the same with mine and made her stand.
She was fairly short which wasn't usual for a white girl.
I wasn't a fan of black girls and had never dated one.
I didn't find them attractive never had.
Cheryl: "I'm on my periods "
She said after breaking the kiss.
Me: "And you let me take off your top? "
Cheryl: "It's just... I missed you "
I clicked my tongue.
Me: "I'm going out "
Cheryl: "Khosi... I'm sorry "
Me: "Fine let's just cuddle "
I said with gritted teeth.
Upon closing my eyes I saw her. They mysterious girl who had captured my attention and knew I had to talk to her soon.
At 15 I was in Grade 10. I lived with my motherher boyfriend and siblings .
I was her first born and she had two kids with the man.
The man had come with his daughter who was a year younger than me.
Her name was Sinazo.
Sinazo and I went to the same school. She was more favoured than I and more popular.
It never bothered me that I was in her shadow.
I had gotten used to the fact that I'm below her and everyone else.
She was in Grade 9 and already had a boyfriend.
Every boy in the school was infatuated with her.
Sinazo wasn't light skinned like me. She was caramel and had smooth soft skin.
She had no pimple and had an amazing body with no belly pouch.
I on the other hand had acne and eczema because of my very light skin.
She was beautiful that even I envied her sometimes.I knew I wasn't the only one.
Girls in my hood and also at school did too.
People became friends with me just so they could get to be her friend.
Sinazo: "Didi let's go"
I had just taken two spoons of soft porridge that I was having as breakfast.
Me: "I'm still eating "
Sinazo: "You eat a lot and the only thing gaining weight is your stubbornness. Let's go "
Mom: "Leave with your sister why should she beg? "
I grabbed my bag and we left.
Sinazo had a phone something I wasn't interested in.
She was giggling while going through it.
We lived in a township that got rather busy and loud from Thursday until Sunday.
There was a chisa'nyama not far from my home.
It was two streets away and we always heard its sound during the mentioned days.
My mom's boyfriend Mmusi owned it and so I would work there during the weekend.
I didn't work In the bar or as a cashier I did the dishes.
Sometimes the boys would visit me during the day and help while I listened to their stories.
Sanele was 8 and Phila 10. We were a balanced family.
Sinazo: "See you at break sis "
I nodded and walked to my class.
The school was about 15-25 minutes from home depending on our pace.
At break I found Sinazo sitting with two of her friends and a boy.
Sinazo: "Go buy us food"
She gave me the money and I went.
She wasn't specific but I knew it had to be something we would all indulge in.
Someone patted me on the back.
It was her.
Sinazo: "I'll do it. Drake suggested it. He won't eat food you've touched "
Drake was the boy I had found her with.
Me: "Why not? "
Sinazo: "You're asking the wrong person doll "
Drake was a senior and I couldn't really go ask him.
I gave Sinazo the money and waited for her.
Sinazo: "Buy yourself some fruits and please don't come to us "
Me: "But we always eat together "
Sinazo: "Now Drake is part of us and I aim to please. Also don't tell dad I'm hanging out with boys"
I watched her leave my heart torn.
I bought myself fruits and went to eat in class.
Even after school we didn't walk home together as usual.
I had to accept that Drake had stole her from me.
My mom didn't work. Bhabha didn't want his girlfriend working.
I didn't get why they weren't married but never asked.
Mom: "Nazo okae? " (Where's Nazo? )
Me: "I thought she's home. I didn't find her waiting for me as usual "
My class ended thirty minutes later. It was the same with the Grade 11 and Grade 12 classes.
Grade 8 and 9 ended earlier.
Mom: "You could have looked for her. "
Me: "Sinazo is old why should I do that? You treat me like her keeper "
She slapped me.
Mom: "Don't talk to me like that "
Me: "I'm sorry "
I said holding my cheek.
Mom: "Just leave my sight"
She came home around 6. Her father was still at work. Apart from owning the chisa'nyama he worked as an auditor at an investment firm.
We shared a bedroom. They lived with us in the home my father built.
He left because he had found himself another woman.
I was only a toddler and this is what my mom told me.
I was busy with my homework but did look at the clock.
Sinazo: "What a day "
Me: "You were drinking? "
She reeked of alcohol.
She laughed and looked around.
Sinazo: "I had my first joint "
Me: "Marijuana?! You're a child "
She rolled her eyes.
Sinazo: "I'm a young woman. Have you seen a child with breasts like this or an arse like mine? "
Sinazo: "Just because you look like a child at fifteen doesn't mean I am"
She left the room banging the door on her exit.
I just shook my head.
Father forgive her.