I woke up in my bed something I was totally not expecting.
My head was pounding I had a massive headache but I wasn't surprised. I had gotten used to waking up in such conditions these past few days.
My eyes were swollen so much that I struggled to open them. I sighed.
Why did life had to turn out this way for me? It all started with my heart failing me and falling for a guy.
I should have known it won't last I should have known he's not the one. If only he'd left me alone when I rejected him I wouldn't be here.
I really had to pull myself together. I was just tired. I was sick and tired of always allowing people to walk all over me.
I took a shower then dried and lotioned. I remember Kamo on the floor with blood all over his face and that's round about it. I do love him and I really wish I didn't love him this much. I still didn't know what happened to him but I was going to find out.
I wore a black Slim fit dress and wore my flipflops. I think I was now a size small because the dress was a bit loose.
I made a bun with my braids then took my phone and went to the kitchen. I found Kitso making breakfast.
She gave me a pitiful look.
Kitso: Morning how are you?
Me: I'm okay I guess I'll survive. I've been through worse.
Me: Who tucked me in?
Kitso: Your father. He left early in the Morning.
Me: And my.. Kamogelo?
Kitso: There wasn't much damage done. His alive in hospital getting treated for his wounds.
Me: I'm glad he's okay.
Kitso: You really love him don't you?
Me: With every part of my being.
Kitso: I know it must hurt but it'll get better.
Me: I know. I just don't see us getting through this.
Kitso: Take it once step at a time. Don't rush yourself it'll get better with time.
Me: I know and thanks. I'm just tired of crying.
Kitso: It's okay to cry.
Me: Well I've cried too much now.
Kitso: So will you go visit him?
Me: I don't know if I should but again I love him. I know we broke up but I still care so much about him.
Kitso: It's understandable. Breakfast?
She chuckled. I sat down I hadn't eaten in four days. I wondered if it was worth it. Kamogelo looked perfectly fine to me and Thuli is probably moving on Just fine with her life.
She dished up the bacon and eggs breakfast. I ate with toast and even gulped down the whole glass of juice.
Me: Can I ask you something though?
Kitso: Yes of course.
Me: How did dad afford all of this?
Kitso: He didn't tell you?
Me: I never asked.
Kitso: Well royalties from a book he wrote. I'm actually surprised you don't know it sold millions of copies.
Me: Which book?
I really had no idea what she's talking about. I know my father is a writer but he never told me anything about a book. I don't even know when all of this happened and why I didn't know. Why didn't he at least tell me he was publishing? Why was I in the dark about all of this? This was so unlike my father.
This actually made me wonder if I really know him like I thought I did. Even with what he did to Kamogelo I never knew him as the violent type but Kamogelo deserved it. He hurt me. Too much.
Kitso: I'm actually surprised that you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Me: I don't. He never told me a thing.
Kitso: Then maybe it's not my place to say anything.
Me: You can't do that.
Kitso: I'm sorry.
Me: You already told me why can't you go on?
Kitso: It's not my place.
Me: If you say so.
Kitso: You coming with to church?
Me: Actually yeah.
Kitso: I thought maybe you wanted to go visit Kamogelo.
Me: I'm still contemplating it. I'll see tomorrow after school.
Kitso: Alright dear.
I washed the dishes then after wore proper shoes and we left to church.
You know had I known this church was this uplifting I would have long come. I've really seen the change and today's service was just too unique.
I could feel the divine presence of the Almighty God. It's marvelous and splendid.
I was in a good mood after church and I felt like a whole lot of burden had been removed off my shoulders.
Kitso: What a service!
Me: It was amazing.
Kitso: I actually feel like a new being.
Me: I feel lighter. A whole lot of burden has been taken off my shoulders.
Kitso: It's grace it's mercy it's goodness.
We took a taxi back home. Dad was back. I was actually surprised he missed church he never does and I kept thinking I'll see him walk in but nope never.
Me: Hi dad.
I guess he's mad I just didn't know why. Surprisingly he had cooked.
It's been such a long time since dad last cooked. In fact ever since I knew how to cook he hardly did.
Okay it wasn't such a long long time because he did cook some time this year but it was a long time.
Can you believe that my birthday is on Wednesday? Yep I'll officially be turning 17. On the 15th April and I couldn't wait.
I went to put my bag in my room then changed back into my flipflops before going back to the kitchen.
Kitso: So you never told me you can cook
Dad: You never asked.
Kitso: Did I really have to?
Dad: How would you know if you don't ask and then be given an answer?
Okay dad's mood was totally off. I don't know him like this. Maybe I was just imagining things.
Kitso didn't reply she just kept quiet. I know I wouldn't have answered too.
I mean how would you answer that? I even wondered if we'll even be allowed to eat this food he was cooking.
Anyway it seemed I was wrong because he dished up for all three of us himself included.
We ate our lunch silently and Kitso helped me with the dishes.
Kitso: What's going on with your father?
She was whispering. I shrugged my shoulders.
Me: I wish I knew.
Kitso: Is he usually like this?
Me: He's never like this.
Kitso: I think he's mad because I called help for Kamogelo. I couldn't watch the poor kid suffering like that.
Me: You mean he wanted to kill him?
I gasped. The thought difficult for me to process.
Kitso: I don't know. I really don't.
Me: Maybe I shouldn't have told him.
Kitso: You did right. Talking always helps.
Me: I guess you right.
The following day I got up early and prepared myself for school. It was high time I faced my demons.
I took a bath dried and lotioned. It was Monday meaning skirt and golf shirt. I wore my shoes and took my bag.
I didn't even know how much I had missed but I was certain I'd be able to catch up.
I had only just missed on a week after all. I took my bag and went to the kitchen.
With how things are I didn't even think of dad dropping me off at school this day.
I sat down and silently ate breakfast.
Dad: You don't greet anymore?
Me: I am sorry. Good morning.
Dad: Morning baby.
Me: Where's Kitso?
Dad: Somewhere in the house. This thing of you calling her by name really has to end.
Me: What's wrong with that?
Dad: It's disrespectful.
I never really thought it was. She never had a problem with it or could it be she did but couldn't complain? Had I really been the one missing it? Maybe she did show some signs which I was blind to. Either way I really didn't think it was disrespectful and now I felt a bit bad.
I never wanted to disrespect her especially when she had been this good to me.
Surprisingly Dad drove me to school. I hadn't seen Kitso all morning.
We drove silently to school.
He parked where he usually drops me off.
Dad: I'll come pick you up.
Me: Umm no it's cool.
Dad: Why not?
Me: I want to go visit Kamo at the hospital.
Dad: And who gave you permission to?
Me: I didn't think I had to ask for permission Kitso didn't seem to have a problem with it.
Dad: Is she your parent?
Me: Umm... No.
Dad: I really don't get you Bonga. That boy broke your heart he played you and betrayed you. You cried yourself to sleep for days yet you still want to visit him.
Me: I still care about him.
Dad: He doesn't give a rat ass about you!
Me: He does.
Dad: Really? Then you too blind. Wake up and smell the coffee my child. He doesn't love you.
Me: That's rude.
Dad: You'll find me waiting for you here after school.
Me: But dad I -
Dad: My decision is final.
He opened the door from inside for me and I got out. I sighed and walked to class.
I was back to this hell hole. I now hated school more than ever but I had to persist and persevere I had already missed on too many years. I should have been doing my Grade 12 by now that's why I was working this hard.
The bell rang immediately when I got in class so I just put my bag down and went to assembly.
I hadn't seen Thuli yet and I was actually grateful I just didn't think I was ready for her. Not after all that happened but again I couldn't ignore her forever. We are in the same class after all.
After school I went to class alone.
I sat down in the same table I share with my now former friend. Nobuhle came to me. I inwardly rolled my eyes.
I wasn't in the mood for her today or any of her bullshit.
Nobuhle: You know you should have just let us be.
I looked at her. I really couldn't believe this girl now. What makes her think I even care about what she has to say?
Nobuhle: Your relationship didn't even last a millisecond.
Me: I guess you happy then you can finally have him.
Nobuhle: He's gonna beg for me to take him back.
Me: Of course because I broke up with him. Other than you whom he left.
Nobuhle: You think I care?
Me: You clearly that dumb. Get your skinny ass off my face.
Nobuhle: When did you have a backbone?
Me: I'm a scorned woman. Need I say more?
Me: Bye Felicia.
She turned and walked back to her seat with a tail between her legs
The class clapped hands. It's funny how a month ago they were laughing at me and now they rejoice when I finally stand up for myself.
It seemed Thuli was absent this day
After school I found Dad waiting for me like he said. I didn't say anything to him. I just got in and he drove off.
Dad: One Day you'll thank me for this.
Me: I'm sure I will.
Dad: I'm only trying to protect you. You have been through a lot. This boy can't be the reason you relapse.
Me: I only wanted to see him not take him back.
Dad: You still young you'll get over him.
Me: Yeah right.
I rolled my eyes. Arriving at home I went straight to my room. I threw my bag on top of the chair then took off my uniform and changed into casual clothes.
I threw myself on my bed and drifted off to sleep.