I had agreed to meet up with Kamo. I discovered he only lived five houses from mine. I can't say I wasn't looking forward to it but again I missed him. A part of me wanted to avoid him but my heart couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about what he could be hiding from me. It just made me feel so uneasy and I also didn't think I'd be able to handle the truth should it come out. Anyway I took a bath. Can you imagine it wasn't in the small basin I'm used to so it was very refreshing. Anyway after bathing I dried and lotioned. I wore a blue skinny jeans with a black long sleeves shirt and flipflops. It's not like we going on a date or something. Anyway I let my braids loose then I put on Labello lip balm on my lips. I took my phone. It was Wednesday it's the last week of recess and I couldn't wait really. I had to talk with Thuli. I know I could just go to her house but I couldn't. I was scared. As much as I wanted to know the truth I was scared of it hurting me in anyway. I found Kitso in the kitchen. It's just around 11am. I don't know why he wanted us to meet so early but hey. Me: Hello again. Kitso: Hii baby. She wasn't looking at me but when she turned her jaw dropped. I looked at myself and I really didn't see anything wrong. Me: What? Kitso: Oh no it's nothing. You look beautiful. WA kae? I calmed down. I really thought there was something wrong that I missed. Me: Thanks. I'm going to meet with Kamo. Kitso: Oh kana you said he stays around here. Me: Yeah please tell dad if he comes. Kitso: Of course baby. Be safe. Me: It's 11am Ma. Kitso: You know what I mean. She winked and I laughed. That's never happening any time soon. Me: Eeuw no. She chuckled and I just left sending Kamo a text that I'm on my way. Me: You better be on your way too. Kamo: You could just come to my room. Me: I don't know your house that well and we agreed on meeting each other halfway. Kamo: You don't know my house? You've been here two times. Me: Are you coming or should I go back? I hadn't gotten out of the yard yet. I had to know if he's on his way or not. I didn't want to exhaust myself for nil. Kamo: I don't see you though what you wearing? Me: I'm naked. I got out of the yard and stood on the road. I saw him far away. I started walking to his direction. Kamo: I see you. I didn't reply but just walked to him. We hugged shortly. I didn't want to end up crying in his arms cause the warmth of his embrace made me emotional. Knowing I might not be able to find comfort in his arms again. Kamo: Hey. I nodded. I suddenly didn't know what to say to him. I really didn't have anything to say to him. Kamo: You okay? Me: Yeah you? Kamo: I am. So you going with me or? Me: Umm yeah we can't just stand in the road like this. Kamo: Of course. He took my hand and we went to his house and now I knew I'd never be unable to spot it. We were silent on the way to his room but it wasn't awkward. It was just comfortable silence. He unlocked then we got in. I sat down on a couch. Kamo: Can I get you anything? Me: No I'm fine thanks. Kamo: What's really going on? Me: What do you mean? Kamo: You not yourself. Me: Really? He sat down next to me on the couch and I turned to face him. Kamo: You hardly talk to me and when you do it's just not the same. Me: I-I didn't realise. He held my hand I let him be. I was just having so much doubt about us. I couldn't understand why he couldn't be honest with me. Lying to me cannot be protecting me it's deceiving me. Kamo: I love you Khen I do and I don't wanna lose you. Please tell me whatever it is that's bothering you so we can deal with it together as a couple. I so wanted to roll my eyes. He wants be to tell him while he can't even be honest with me. It doesn't work like that Fam it doesn't. I had be so honest with him front about everything because from what I know Honesty is a good basis on which one builds a good foundation in a relationship but he wasn't honoring that. Me: There's nothing bothering me. You know I would have long told you because there's nothing that I've ever hidden from you. Though I can't say the same about you I wanted to say but withheld it. I didn't want to alarm him about the little trust I have for Him and Thuli. Come to think of it it was better when my father was the only person who mattered to me Kitso being part of the list now. Kamo: You sure? Me: Yes I'm sure Kamogelo. Kamo: Okay no need to get mad. Me: I'm not mad. Kamo: You sure you don't want anything? Me: What can you possibly give me? Kamo: Nare what's with the attitude? Me: Maybe I'm PMSing. I rolled my eyes. He was seriously pissing me off now. He stood up then looked at me. How I wish I had a bubblegum I'd be popping it by now. He ran his fingers across his hair and I knew he was frustrated. Kamo: I'm coming back. Me: Leaving me with who? Your couches? Will they keep me company? Kamo: Khensani! His hand formed a fist and I just rolled my eyes. He snorted then left and I just got up and threw myself on his bed. How's that for meeting up with my boyfriend? I should have just stayed at home. I took out my phone. It was really time I created that facebook account and I thought why not now? I'll worry about who to add later. I did and uploaded my profile picture so people can know it's me then opened an instagram account then switched my data off. Kamogelo was still not coming and I was seriously getting bored. I lit the TV and watched some reality TV show while waiting for him. He took roughly 40 minutes and I was beyond mad. Kamo: I brought some snacks. Me: Mm. Kamo: You mad? Me: Is that a trick question? Kamo: I wanted us to spend time together not fight. Me: I see. Kamo: I'm sorry Khensani. I'm sorry for leaving you alone after asking you to come here. I needed to calm down. Me: I'm sorry for fucking your mood up. Kamo: What's going on with us? Me: SI ya jola nje. I took the plastic with snacks from him. Then took out a packet of crisps and started eating. Kamo: You really PMSing? Me: Yeah. Kamo: You know what this means? Me: What? Kamo: There's a high chance of you falling pregnant if we were to have unprotected sex now. Me: Why would I wanna fall pregnant? Kamo: I want a baby. Me: Wa hlanya. Kamo: Oh? Me: I'm not having a baby at 17 Kamogelo. Kamo: You not 17 yet. Me: I will be in two weeks. Kamo: So what do you want for your birthday? Me: A dog. Kamo: Really? Me: Yep. He grinned. I shrugged my shoulders. I wanted to tell me what he means by that. Kamo: You amazing you know that? Me: I am? Kamo: Any other girl would have wanted earrings or a pair of shoes or bag or something expensive but you you... I chuckled. Me: I'm one in a million. Kamo: You really are. I missed hearing your chuckle. Me: You did? Kamo: Yeah. He was sitting next to me on the bed. He brushed my chin. We looked at each other not saying anything. He brought his face closer and we shared a kiss. When the school opened I was anxious. If it was some other day I would have been grumpy and not ready to go back but it was different this time. I wanted to go so I can finally get the answers I've long been desiring. I woke up before my alarm so I switched it off immediately. Dad had a normal 8-5 job now God has really been good to him. I was working on repairing my own relationship with God almighty too. I know I'll get there. I've been going to church regularly on Sunday's though I've not mentioned before. I took a bath dried then lotioned. I wore my stockings dried then lotioned. I wore my stockings school skirt golf shirt short socks and school shoes. I made a bun with my braids packed on my books into my school bag then took it and went to the kitchen. Me: Good morning family. Dad: Morning baby. Kitso: Morning dear. I sat down. I dished up the breakfast which had been prepared and ate. Kitso was also going to work so we all went into My dad's car. It's a van so imagine how it was. I got off. He had given me my lunch money and taxi fare. School wasn't too far from home though. I took a breath knowing that this was finally it. I found Thuli at the gate and we hugged. I now knew I couldn't avoid her forever. Thuli: What did I do to you Bonga? You didn't answer my calls avoided my texts. I went to your previous house only to hear you had moved already. The siren rang just as I was about to reply. I would have said 'You became a two faced bitch ' but I didn't. Not when I didn't know the entire full story. Me: We'll talk at break. Thuli: Oh Umm.. Okay. We went to put our bags down then went to assembly. No one said a thing to the other. Immediately when we entered the class from assembly the teacher came too. We couldn't talk then so we concentrated on the lesson instead. The bell rang for assembly and we got out of the class. Me: What are we eating? Thuli: Pies and coke I'll pay. More money for me shame. Who says no to free food after all? I nodded and we went to buy then went to sit at our usual place. Thuli: I'm sorry about what I said about K-more. I had no right. Me: It's okay. Thuli: I know that's why you have been avoiding me. Me: It's not only that. Thuli: Oh? Me: I asked Kamo about you. Her eyes popped out. It's like she was seeing a ghost but it was only me. I'm thinking she wasn't expecting that from me. She was trembling I didn't know if it was shock or she was really nervous. Me: Are you okay? She swallowed hard and nodded. I'm not a fool. I know there really was something big they were hiding and I needed to know. Thuli: I-I.. Umm.. W-What did.. He.. Say? Me: You stuttering. She cleared her throat. Thuli: I-I.. I'm just curious. Me: He had a lot to say. Although I acted calm I was actually anxious to know what I'm missing. I wanted her to tell me without having to dig the truth from her. I had to be smart about this before blowing things up. Thuli: Oh? Me: Why didn't you tell me? I thought we friends. I pretended to be hurt disappointed. Truth is I was in turmoil. Thuli: I-I'm sorry. I promised K-more not to ruin things for him. When we agreed to be in an open relationship I never interfered in his relationships and neither did he on mine so I couldn't... I didn't hear the rest of what she was saying. My mind was still on the "open relationship" part . Did I hear right? Open relationship? I was just too shocked to even react. I couldn't comprehend what she said. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't. Me: O-Open relationship? Kamo never mentioned a relationship between them. Not once. I wasn't expecting that. I had to know this. I mean I knew he wasn't completely honest with me but now I was finding out he wasn't honest at all. She covered her mouth with her hands. I guess she thought I knew. Thuli: Umm.. I. Me: You said open relationship? Thuli: I-I thought that's what he told you. I chuckled in disbelief. I stood up and sat down again. I mouthed a "wow" before looking up then looking at her with a straight face. Me: You gonna tell me everything. I mean everything as in without leaving anything out. Thuli: I- Me: I'm not asking you Thulisile I'm sure as hell telling you! I shouted earning a few stares but I didn't care. Thuli: I-I was doing Grade 8. I had just arrived in school so fitting in became hard for me. He found me sitting alone because I didn't have any friends and we became friends from then. He kept me company we ate together. I always made two lunches for him and I. We got more and more close till he proposed. I said yes because I also felt the same for him. I always thought Thuli loved him I always saw it but I never entertained it. She was the one pushing us together and it always seemed he knew much about him more than I did. As much as every word was like a needle stab into my heart I had to listen. I had to fully know the whole story. I wiped the tears which had suddenly decided to fall she was also crying. I had to brace myself for the painful and heartbreaking truth. Thuli: He was more experienced than me when it comes to relationships and I was stupidly in love with him. One day there was a party organized by the matrix so I he asked me to go with him. I agreed because I trusted him. I won't go into details but he broke my virginity then. He assured me he'll always be here for me. When I was doing Grade 9 he started cheating as he got more popular. I'd try to leave him but my heart couldn't and he'd assure me that he loves only me. That's when we decided on having an open relationship to avoid hurting each other and we'd both tell each other who we dating. Me: I-I thought you said... I thought you said you a virgin. Thuli: He's the only guy I've slept with. I couldn't sleep with Xoli because of him so I told him I'm a virgin instead. Me: So you saying... I-I I'm a side chick? Thuli: He's never taken me out on a date he's never spent even a cent on me. He always told me he's no romantic. Me: Why did you.. Why did you let us be? Thuli: I knew he wanted you and I know he always comes back to me and I actually thought it was just for sex. Me: What?! I shouted. I couldn't believe this. I stood up. I was mad I was hurt and I was angry. She deceived me he betrayed me they lied to me and I felt stupid. The tears just fell. She came and tried to touch me. Me: Keep your filthy hands off me! More learners were gathered around us but I didn't care. I usually don't like it and avoid having attention to myself but I didn't care. Thuli: Bonga She was sobbing. I slapped her and the crowd gasped "woah" "What's going on here?! " That was Kamo's voice. I looked at him with tears flowing from my eyes. Thuli had tears flowing with a her hand on her cheek. He looked at Thuli then me. Thuli nodded at him they were probably communicating with their eyes. Kamo: Baby I- I slapped him too. Me: Save it for someone who gives a fuck. It's over. The crowd went "Woah" again. I ran to my class with Kamogelo following me but I didn't care. I took my bag. He blocked the door with his body. He tried touching me. Kamo: Khen please just - Me: Fuck off Kamogelo go comfort your girlfriend of two fucken years. I didn't know where I got the strength but I pushed him off the door. I ran out of the yard not caring what trouble I was going to get into. I stopped a taxi and got in while sobbing. It dropped me off right at my gate. I opened the door left my bag down the ran to my room. When I got in I threw myself on my bed and just cried loudly wailing.