Author: Cassie

Her story: The ugly girl

part 4 her story

I woke up the following day and prepared myself for school. It sounds like a miracle but I had a certain inner peace that I had never experienced. I think it's probably because of the dream I had but I had never felt this way. I wasn't complaining though because it was a good dream. My father was even surprised that he didn't need to drag me out of bed first. I chuckled. Me: You need to have a little faith in me daddy. Dad: I guess you growing up now. Me: I gotta dad I took my bathing water poured in a basin and started washing my body. I dried and lotioned afterwards. Because it's a Thursday I was sad because I had to wear my tunic. Truth is if it was up to me I would never wear it because of how it just shows my body off. It makes me uncomfortable but at school it's a must for us to wear and it's not like I can go to the principal and be like " I can't wear the tunic because it shows off my body" . I sighed and took my tunic and wore it. I wore my school shoes then combed my hair into two buns this time. I used the table to put in all the books I'll be needing today and went to the kitchen. Dad gave me my bowl of breakfast and we ate together. Dad: What will you wear next week? Me: What's happening next week? Dad: Did you not mention some Valentines event? Me: Oh that. I rolled my eyes. I was not looking forward to attending that at all. I had absolutely no reason to. Being me is really not appeasing in anyway to be constantly insulted but I was grateful that I had seen less of that at the school I was attending at this year. Dad: Ain't you going? Me: I can't disappoint Thuli but I don't wanna go dad. Dad: Baby you should really stop letting people's opinions dictate your life. Me: You know it's not that easy baba. Dad: I know but you should at least try. Me: I'll try. Are you picking me up today? Dad: You do know that kids your age take taxis to school. Me: What? Dad: Baby I think I've been shielding you for too long. Running away never solves anything. Me: You weren't Really busy were you? He looked away. I couldn't believe my own father was doing this to me. I had depended on him so much but again I was getting where he was coming from but I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to get out of my father's shield. I couldn't at least not now. Tears filled my eyes I didn't want to go back to that dark place I didn't need to live with all that fear again the constant anxiety attacks which lead to my depression. I couldn't. What if I don't survive this time? It was all just too soon for me and it was hard to fathom. Dad: Ohh baby I'm sorry. I know you probably Think I'm deserting you - Me: I don't want to go back there dad I don't want to go back into that dark place again. He came and embraced me and I sobbed in his arms. He broke the hug when I had calmed down and wiped the tears with his fingers. Dad: I know you not ready and I'm sorry for rushing you. I only want what's best for my little girl. He kissed me on the forehead took my bag and we went to his car. He opened the door for me and I got in then went to his side. He started the car and drove off. He gave Me my lunch money I kissed him on the cheek and got off. What dad doesn't know is that we had been saving money. We only used a potion of our lunch money and even now Thuli hasn't told me the reason behind that. I found her waiting for me at the gate as usual and we shared a brief hug. Thuli: How are you this morning? Me: Fine I guess. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know how I felt. Yes I finally had peace but there were still a whole bunch of stuff going through my mind. I felt like I had decisions I needed to make which I didn't know how to go about with. Me: You? Thuli: I'm good

it's all by the Grace of God. Here we go again. I hope there was no doctrine coming cause really I was not in the mood. We walked silently to our class for a change. It's like she knew I didn't want to engage in any conversation more especially one in which she'd be telling me about her God. We went to Assembly when the bell rang. Announcements were made and of course they wanted acts for the bash. It was more like a concert or an event then later bash. I actually didn't want to be any part of this silliness. We were dismissed after and we went back to our respective classes. Thuli: Don't forget we got choir practice today. Me: Yes of course. I sang first soprano while she sang Alto in the choir. By that I think you already know I have quite a soft voice not too soft though. Lessons began and soon after it was break time. I was sitting with Thuli during break when Tiisetso came to us. She greeted and we replied. We don't normally talk at school so I wondered what she wanted. Tiisetso: Can I talk to you in private? I looked at Thuli and she nodded so I stood up and we went to stand a bit of distance from them. Tiisetso: You coming to the bash next week? Me: I'm not sure yet why? Tiisetso: I just.. I thought you wouldn't wanna come you don't look like the bash type. Me: Why don't you want me to come? She faked a laugh. She was acting very funny if you ask me. Tiisetso: It's not like that... It's just.. I was just asking. I nodded and she left just like that. It was very weird if you ask me. She was acting very funny. I went back to Thuli. Thuli: What did she want? Me: Can you believe she doesn't want me to come to the bash? Thuli: What? Me: Yeah she asked if I'm coming then I told her I'm not sure then she was like she thought I wasn't going to come. Thuli: That's weird. I mean why would she want you not to come? Me: Beats me. Thuli: Unless.. Me: What? Thuli: Unless she knows something. Me: I'm not following. Thuli: I mean if she knows something that might benefit you in a good way then she'll probably want you to be absent so you can miss out Me: That makes sense. What Thuli was saying was making so much sense. I once thought that Tiisetso is a good friend then she changed out to be someone else. I wonder what it was that she was trying to make me miss. We went back to class after break. When the bell rang for school out we went to relieve ourselves at the toilet before going to the hall where the practice is going to be held. See at our school we have the President who is doing Grade 12 and he happens to be the captain of the soccer team and the Vice President who is a girl and doing Grade 12 too. The guy was the one addressing us. His name is Kamogelo. Most people call him K-more but I'll call him Kamo for short. Kamo: Y'all know we having some here in our school next week Friday and the choir will be required to perform Among other people. The people screamed. Well it doesn't matter what this guy is saying people always scream. He'd sneeze and they'd still do that. I think it's the kinder prestige he held. The way the girls were always surrounding him just everything about him. After his little speech practice started. At least this time I found my father waiting for me and I was relieved. I didn't like bothering Thuli and she'd have to go out of her way to make sure I get home. We hugged for the last time and I went to our car.

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