Sleep is really the best remedy ever. When I'm sleeping I forget about my troubles for a little while I forget about people and their nasty remarks. I'm actually more at peace when I'm sleeping. See you probably wondering if I'm scared or burned but no. I have perfect clear skin. I'm caramel in colour short and unfortunately I have a thick body. I'm a size 34. My body makes me even more uncomfortable. I'd have people teasing me because I have a bigger ass or because my breasts are big. It's actually and probably the reason why some boys approached me. I won't call myself innocent. I'm 16 and not a virgin and how I lost my virginity is not all bed and roses. It's actually what contributed to my depression and now now I have to rely on pills for life. I don't come from a rich family. Yes we do move around a lot but it's always us renting a backroom in someone's yard. I think that's why people tease me even more because I'm not rich. I won't call myself poor we just struggling and I'm optimistic that one day all of this would change. I'm suppose to be doing my grade 12 now but life got on the way. I'm turning 17 in April. I'm not intellectually challenged or anything but I've dropped from school on many accounts hence I'm only doing Grade 10 now. That's why my father home schooled me. My father I'm sure you wondering what he does for a living. Well my father is a tailor he makes clothes and he's also a writer online. We are not making much but we able to go on. I also get a child grants and I'm grateful for the little we had. We renting a two roomed house now. It's in the yard of another house. Fortunately I sleep in my own bed while dad has his own. I woke up a bit late this day. It was a Thursday and next week on Tuesday I'm going to my new school. I took my toothbrush and put toothpaste in it and went outside to brush my teeth. I went inside to wash my face. Dad had went to the city to buy material. My father makes most of my clothes and some he sells at town. People also come to him so he can design for them. We are very close. I'm his only daughter and it has always been us against the world I made some eggs for myself and ate them with bread. After eating I started cleaning the house. I didn't even have a phone to keep me busy. I knew amount social media but never thought of even open a facebook account. Why? So people can judge me? There was a knock on the door. I wondered who that could be because we hardly have visitors unless people are bringing their clothes. I opened the door and it seemed I was right. Person: Sawubona. Me: Hello. It was a woman probably in her early 40s and she had a plastic with Woman: Can I come in? I made space for her so she could come in and she did. Woman: I'm looking for your father. Could've guessed so. Me: He went to the city to buy material and I don't know when he's coming back. She nodded. Woman: I needed him to shrink this skirt for me to buy material and I don't know when he's coming back. She nodded. Woman: I needed him to shrink this skirt for me I love it but it seems I have lost weight. I looked at this woman and all this time I wished I was like her. She looked beautiful. She had a perfect slim body and light in complexion. Maybe it's my dark skin which isn't that dark that makes people treat me this way. I was brought back to reality by her snapping her fingers in my face. She was the first person to come here and not insult me or maybe she wasn't done yet. Me: Huh? Sorry I mean Ma? Woman: Are you okay child? I nodded. I wiped the tears that I didn't realize had fallen. My therapist had told me to always have positive thoughts but it was hard. I still wondered how I was going to face the world again. I mean I haven't been in school for three years. Woman: You were crying. Me: I.. I'm.. Something got... Got in my eye I blinked a few times just to try to convince her of what I meant. Woman: Can I leave this here? I'll come back later hopefully your father will be here. I nodded. My heart was pumping out of my chest. It happens when I tell a lie which is hardly. She left and I poured myself some water to cool myself down. Most of the money was used to pay rent and buy my school things so we didn't even have money for electricity. I wore my old torn shoes and locked the door so I can go look for some wood at the forests. I had taken a rope with too so I could tire the woods. It was a 20 minutes walk to the forest and I was really used to it. After collecting all the wood I tied it put it on my head and walked back. " Hello" I didn't reply. I'm not used to people even looking at me or saying anything that's not rude or nasty. " Hello! " I looked around and it was just me I looked back and a girl waved at me. I got a bit nervous. Did I maybe do something to her or maybe she wanted to come insult me? All these thoughts run in my mind that I didn't even realize that she was now behind me. I froze. This girl looked very different from me. I was halfway home. She smiled. She had very deep dimples mine weren't even that deep. Girl: I'm Tiisetso. She stretched out her hand to me. I gave her my shaking hand. Tiisetso: Are you okay? I stared at her. Honestly I was surprised that she was even being polite. Tiisetso: Wa bua or Uya thetha? I chuckled. So all along she thought I couldn't talk or I'm illiterate. Me: I'm Nokubonga. She wiped her forehead dramatically. Tiisetso: You had me sweating there for a while. Me: I'm sorry I'm just not used to people talking to me. Her mouth formed an O from shock. I just nodded. Tiisetso: Why? Me: You kidding right? Tiisetso: I'd be laughing. Me: I'll tell you one day now I gotta rush home. Tiisetso: Let me help you with that. Me: Why? She didn't answer but instead took the wood from my head and walked home with me. Tiisetso: How come I've never seen you around? Me: We just moved here. Tiisetso: You live two houses from mine but I've never seen you outside. Me: Where do you live? Tiisetso: At that pink house. I looked to where she was pointing and it was a big house. I don't even know why she'd even hangout with me. We put the wood down and I made the fire then poured some water into our three leg pot before accompanying her to her house. Tiisetso: Why don't you come with me to church tomorrow? Church? I wouldn't go to church. I've long been judged there. I used to think of church as a place of sinerity and sobriety but the way my father and I were treated as dirt there I wouldn't bother. I gave her a fake smile before saying I'll think about it I went back home and poured myself some water to bath. I wore my floral dress with flops before starting on lunch. I knew or hoped that my father would be back by then. I made potatoes with onion and tomato soup first before doing the pap since I was cooking outside. I finished around 2pm. I dished up for dad and I and put his on top of the kitchen counter. My father has one of those old steel vans and it has always helped us especially with our moving. I heard the engine raw outside and I knew he was here. I was sitting inside the house eating. I ran to him when I heard him open the door and threw myself in his arms. We broke the hug and I helped him pick up the plastic bags which he had to let go of because of my embrace. Me: I missed you. Dad: I missed you too princess. Me: There was a woman who left her skirt she said she'll come later. Dad: Okay I bought you some food but I see you have eaten. Me: We'll eat it later. Dad: I also bought some electricity. Me: I thought we didn't have money. Dad: I made a plan baby. I just nodded. He put on the electricity and at least I could watch TV now. The woman came again later on and I gave dad and her some space by going to sit outside under the shade. I hated being alone because it made me over think. This time I thought about my mother. That woman in there really made me wish I had a mother. I felt like going for a walk but I was afraid. I didn't want to go out and only to come back because someone had said something nasty to me. Why do people need to be this cruel? How I wish they were like my father.