part 4 diary of a playgirl

I battled to comprehend where all of this was coming from. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind but one which was audible was simple "why am I still with this guy? ". You know sometimes we'd know that we could've avoided certain situations in life by running away whilst we still could and at this point I didn't even think of it. I couldn't think of leaving him. This insecure thing of his was driving me mad but it never occurred to me that leaving him could be the end of my problems. Could I have been that blinded? By what though love? I didn't even love him I just liked him yes. I still think its me not wanting to be single. Could it be that there's something wrong with being single? No way. I guess I needed to feel loved to feel like I matter. I guess this was me trying to surpass all those parental issues I had. I threw myself on top of my bed. I wasn't about to do this with this guy. There's nothing I hate as much as having to explain myself. I don't even like explaining myself to my parents so I wasn't about to do it with this guy. Lema just barged into my room. What so ever happened to knocking? I'm still yet about to know the answer to that Question. Me: Yes you can enter into my room. I rolled my eyes at her. Lema: You should be happy that I graced your miserable room with my wonderful and glorious presence. Me: Am I not happy to hear from you your majesty. I rolled my eyes yet again and threw a pillow into my face. Lema: What's going on with you? Me: Argh it's Thulo. Lema: Oh him. Well there you have it Lema doesn't really like my boyfriend. Let me just say she tolerates him. She feels the guy is way under my league but it's understandable I get where she's coming from. Me: He's just driving me crazy. Lema: Why not cut your losses? Me: Thanks for the good advice sis. Lema: But really

I don't even know why you still with this guy. Me: Truth is I don't know too. I groaned and pressed the pillow on my face in frustration. I don't even get why I had to be stressing at that point. This was gonna end with me being of the receiving hand of heart break. I do have feelings after all I do get hurt just like anybody else does. I'm not some sort of steel or robot. I'm a human being who is capable of experiencing different feelings. Lema: Well I just think this is just a waste of time really. Me: You really not making me feel any better. Lema: I know something that's gonna make you feel so much better. Me: Oh? I removed the pillow from my face and sat on my butt with my legs crossed and looked at her. Me: Khuluma phela I threw a pillow at her. She rolled her eyes at me. Lema: So next week we going to town. Me: Why? Lema: Really? Me: That's not answering my question. Lema: It's going down. We just gonna chill with some booze. Me: I could do with some like that. I need to let down a little. Lema: Yes. And who knows you might get a replacement for that useless nigger of yours. Me: Haha you such a bad influence. Lema: But I'm telling you you gonna love it. Me: I hope so. Plus it's time I saw what you go there for. Lema: Them I'm guessing it's settled. Me: Yes baby. Lema: I'm sure my friends are eager to meet you. Me: I hope you not setting me up or something. Lema: I'm not evil. Maybe this might be the break I need. Plus it's Valentines next week not that it's gonna be any special for me. I'm not really a fan of valentines day. I don't even celebrate it. We both went downstairs where we got ourselves some snacks and went to the cinema. To watch some movies till we got sleepy. I didn't have any plans for Saturday and it didn't seem like I was the only one. I spent the whole day at home just lazing around.

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