Author: Cassie

Diary of a playgirl

part 2 diary of a playgirl

See no matter how much you'd think you've studied no matter how you know you worked hard when it comes to result there's always that minor heart attack and your subconscious that whispers the "what ifs" in your ear. What if I didn't make it? What if I failed? You can't control it no matter how much you tell yourself you did it there's just that small part in you that doesn't believe any of that. It was the result day I didn't even bother buying the newspaper it's not my style. We were getting our matric results and I was just feeling numb I didn't want to panic. I did my part and the rest is just up to the Almighty. I woke up around 9am and took a bath. I was also meeting up with Thulo today. I don't even know if I was looking forward to it it hasn't been that long but I'm already feeling like getting it over and done with. His moody and likes throwing tantrums remind me again why I'm still with him? I dried lotioned and wore my bra and panties as I looked for something to wear. I decided on a blue skinny jean a white sleeveless top and some Jordan's. I really didn't feel like heels today. I combed my weave and let it loose then I just did some simple makeup cat eyes with mascara and some purple Mac lipstick. I took my phone which was ringing and bag. I looked at the caller ID it was Thulo. I rolled my eyes as I answered it. Me: Hey Thulo: Hey baby how are you? Me: I'm fine you? Thulo: I'm cool you know usually when people are going to get their results they sound anxious. Here I am saying this guy must really just get to the point. I don't know why he gets to me though or maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Me: So? Thulo: You sound so calm. I rolled my eyes yet again. Why should he care? Yes he's a nice dude but I just don't think he's for me. Well maybe I just took him because I didn't wanna be single or maybe it's because he looked yummy. He should've just been a crush. Me: I don't easily panic I know my academic capabilities. Thulo: My smart girl! I miss you. Me: You do? Thulo: Of course why are you surprised? You my girlfriend you all I think about of course I miss you. Me: Good thing we meeting later on. Thulo: And I can't wait. Don't you miss me? Actually I don't. This guy doesn't give me space he's always up in my face. And I also think he's a bit controlling I just need to see less of him. We always meeting we always spending this much time together so much that I feel I'm suffocating. We've only been dating for nine days. Me: Of course I miss you baby I flinched a fake smile. Breaking up with him this soon won't be a nice thing to do more especially considering the fact that I'm the one who approached him now he's all up in my face. Thulo: I know we've just started dating but honestly you mean the world to me. Me: That's so sweet. Thulo: And I mean it Chaela I love you. Wooah he didn't. Did he? I panicked froze. Love is just something else and now now I couldn't just leave him. He's in love with me and that's something big right? I really don't like hurting people it's just not my style. I had to pretend that I also feel the same though I knew deep down that I didn't. Me: I.. (clears throat ).. I don't know what to say Thulo: I know it's overwhelming but it's true. Me: Yeah I.. Look I gotta go. Thulo: Of course good luck with your results. Me: Thanks babe we'll talk later. Thulo: Bye I love you. Me: Mm.. Bye. I hung up and sighed deeply. I think I'm in over my head here. I actually think it would've been much easy if it was Kagiso. With him there's chemistry I can actually feel the connection between us. Imagine being with Thulo while Kagiso is on my mind. It's gonna be a really long day. I threw myself on my bed and thought for a while. This is just one big mess. Someone knocked on my door. Me: Come in. It was the maid. Maid: Your mom says you should come down for breakfast. Me: She's still here? She nodded. Me: Is she not working today? Maid: I don't know ma'am. Me: Tell her I'm coming. She nodded and left. I really thought my mother had left for work already. I wasn't in the mood for her today

I can actually feel the connection between us. Imagine being with Thulo while Kagiso is on my mind. It's gonna be a really long day. I threw myself on my bed and thought for a while. This is just one big mess. Someone knocked on my door. Me: Come in. It was the maid. Maid: Your mom says you should come down for breakfast. Me: She's still here? She nodded. Me: Is she not working today? Maid: I don't know ma'am. Me: Tell her I'm coming. She nodded and left. I really thought my mother had left for work already. I wasn't in the mood for her today I don't hate her but I'm really not a fan of playing happy families today. I got up and left my room closing the door after. I went down the stairs which I think is exercise on its own nje. I'm always so freaking tired after climbing all the way down. It's exhausting. I'm wondering why there's no elevator in this house. I finally arrived downstairs and I was breathing heavily. Me: Good morning. Mom: Lovely for you to join us. Well she just likes being on my case. I wasn't going to entertain her at least not today. Lema: Good luck with your results sis. Me: Thanks I'm just looking forward to varsity. My little brother was just quiet I wonder what's going on with him. His name is Kgotso. Me: Kgotso. He looked at me. Me: Are you okay? He nodded. Me: You don't look fine to me. He was playing with his food. Kgotso: I just miss daddy. Truth is we all preferred our father than our mother. It's worse with Lema and I because we're girls we suppose to be close to our mother but that wasn't the case. Our father was hardly ever home but at least when he was things would be better. Me: I miss daddy too but he's coming. You know he'll have lots of goodies for us all. Our father always came with presents for us from his business trips. He'd say it's makeup for being away from us but all we ever needed was his love not the money and surely not the gifts. Kgotso: Yay! I chuckled. He likes the gifts papa always Mom: Ain't you eating Palesa? We really need to put some flesh on those bones. My mother has those Kim Kardashian / Nicki Minaj kinda bodies so she's always teasing us because of our slender bodies. Like we made ourselves that way. I rolled my eyes and took a plate. Mom: The attitude! I'm your mother show me some respect. Me: Yes ma'am. I ate while chatting a bit with Kgotso. I got up when I was done and drove myself to school. I was getting my license soon since I'd be turning 18. I parked at the parking lot looked myself one more time on the mirror and left. I actually didn't have friends at school. I just hangout with some of my classmates on most times. Like I said before I'm not a social person. I got out from my car locked it and made my way to the hall where we were getting our statements. It was about an hour later that I had my results in my hands. I was actually proud of myself and what I've achieved. Nothing comes easy I had actually worked for those results. I had a distinction in English and Maths the rest were between 76% and 79%. I was so happy that I made it. I remembered I have to meet with Thulo. Was I looking forward to it? Let me just say I just didn't want to go home yet. My mother called me probably to ask about the results. You can never know with my mom she's like the weather. One minute she's warm the next she's cold. Even I her daughter fail to understand her. Me: Hello ma. Mom: How did it go? Me: Very well I have a distinction in English and maths. She started making a whole lot of noise that I had to remove my phone from my ear for a while. Me: You done? Mom: I'm really so proud of you my baby. Me: Thanks mom. Mom: We'll talk more when you come home. Me: Yes bye. As anticipated my phone rang again just after I had hung up. I didn't even look at the caller ID. Me: Low " Hey it's me" I looked at the caller ID this I wasn't expecting. Me: Kagiso. He chuckled. Kagiso: I'd swear you don't have my number saved. Me: I answered without checking the caller ID. I was actually expecting a call from someone. Kagiso: Thulo? Me: Umm.. Yeah we're supposed to be meeting. Kagiso: You really like him don't you? He actually stole you from me. Me: I'm not some possession you know. Kagiso: We both know I didn't mean it like that and you didn't answer my question. Me: I'm not planning to. Kagiso: I see how you are around him yes maybe he likes you but I doubt you feel the same. Stop denying this connection between us. Me: I'm not denying it in anyway. Kagiso: So you acknowledge we have a connection? Me: Kagiso... Kagiso: I don't even know why you're with him. The truth is I also didn't know why I'm with him. Me: Stop it stop doing that. Just respect my relationship like I respect yours. He groaned. Kagiso: Okay fine how did it go? Me: I passed well. Kagiso: Congrats then. Meet with me. Me: You know I'm meeting up with Thulo. Kagiso: I'm not saying today maybe tomorrow. I'll come around your hood. Me: Umm.. I.. Kagiso: Don't say no please. Me: Okay fine.. Kagiso: I'll call you. Me: Mm. He hung up and I sighed. Dealing with two guys can't be that hard right? Anyway I got inside my car and drove to where I'd be meeting with Thulo. We were meeting at McDonalds. I didn't protest I just hoped I won't be the one ending up with the bill. I saw him seating at those outside tables. I parked at its parking lot and went to him. He got up when he saw Me and we shared a hug. This is really going to be a long day.

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