part 1 Charity : Pain Is My Remedy

Me: He slapped me. Thandi: What? Me: And I.. I'm not even mad at him. Thandi: You gotta be kidding me! She stood up and looked at me in disbelief. My cheek was red from where his hand had collided with my cheek. At first I had tried covering up for him but Thandi being my best friend saw right through me. Me: It's all my fault.. A tear escaped my eye as I reminisced on the events that had took place the previous day. It was only a matter of time before he'd retaliate. If it was me in his shoes I would've done more than a slap. He has been so patient with me. I gave him less reason to stay but even now he has not given up on me. Thandi: No. You not about to blame yourself for his abusive tendencies. Me: He regretted it afterwards. I pushed him! I said louder than I intended. She was making him out to be a monster and I didn't like it. Thandi: I can't believe you right now. Me: He only did it once. He's never placed his hand on me before. Thandi: That's how it starts with a slap then it ends with your body in a coffin. My imagination ran wild. If only she knew what really transpired between him and I. To think after a year he's still patient with me. I've long disappointed him shouted at him cheated and flirted in front of him but still he stuck with my ass. He didn't need to he didn't have to but he chose to stay. I'm talking about my boyfriend Jaden Kyle Le Roux. He's 23 and we've been together for a year now. Our anniversary was last week the 13th of February. Yes I met him just a day before valentines. He's colored tall he's slender I won't say skinny with the packs n one bracket which is on his left leg pink lips and a German cut. I adore him to bits I just never stop pissing him off. The truth is I never thought he'd stick with me up to this point. I just thought he'd run the minute he hears "virgin" . Yes I'm still pure I've never been ready. Yet here he is still patient with me. That's my one in a million Me: He's not a monster. Thandi: What did you do? I scratched my head a bit. I then cleared my throat as I rubbed my palms together. Thandi: And here I was thinking its his fault. Me: Well I..(clears throat ) . It's really a long story. Thandi: Wow Charity don't tell me he caught you cheating. Again. Me: It's a bit complicated. Thandi: He should've just killed you for me. Me: Hey! That's not nice. Thandi: Why can't you just commit? Me: I am committed to him. Thandi: Except you find being loyal so hard whilst he's only fucking with you.. Well figuratively of course. Me: Well I'm not ready yet. Thandi: You really missing out.. I raised my eyebrow and looked at her. Thandi: What? Actually I think his dick is the only thing that's gonna make you loyal. Me: You want my mother to kill me I see. Thandi: You in Varsity! You cannot possibly say she still checks you out. I threw myself on the bed and stared at the roof. Me: Story of my life. Thandi: She needs to stop living her life through you. Me: If she had given me the chance to grow at the right pace I wouldn't be cheating now. Thandi: And you always get caught. Me: I'm beginning to think I'm being followed. Thandi: Jaden wouldn't. Me: Maybe he's put some tracker in my body. Thandi: Okay now you exaggerating. Me: I'm only saying what makes sense now to me. Thandi: I think it's time you woke up. Me: I hate varsity! I covered my face with a pillow. Thandi and I share a two-bedroom flat which is a walking distance to campus. I've got a bursary that pays for such. My tuition Accomodation books and food. My useless parents give me an allowance which ain't really much but then Kyle takes care of me. He's working while I'm only doing my first year. She left me to her room and that's when I decided to get up. I stripped put a towel around my body and went to take a super quick shower. I dried lotioned and looked for something to wear. That's actually always the struggle finding something to wear. I decided to wear a Boyfriend denim dungarees with a croptop bra. I had bobcut braids so I just sprayed them. I decided on no makeup today and believe me that's a first. I took my phone and my bag which had all the study materials for today's lectures. It's Wednesday by the way. I wore my Vans Old Skool then went to the kitchen. Our flat has two bedrooms upstairs with a croptop bra. I had bobcut braids so I just sprayed them. I decided on no makeup today and believe me that's a first. I took my phone and my bag which had all the study materials for today's lectures. It's Wednesday by the way. I wore my Vans Old Skool then went to the kitchen. Our flat has two bedrooms upstairs a study room and bathroom while the kitchen lounge and dining room is downstairs. I found Thandi making some sandwiches. Me: I'm so hungry I could eat a whole cow. Thandi: Unfortunately for you I'm on a diet. Me: What? Thandi: Wena you have a perfect slim body look at me Charity. Me: I don't see anything wrong with your body. Thandi: I'm a size 36. You don't get how uncomfortable I am in this body Me: Can I share a secret with you? Thandi: What? Me: I grew up wanting to be big see I was the only thing child in the family. I'd hear all kinds of curses from my cousins and their parents because I'm skinny. I felt sick I couldn't even cherish my body. They'd tease me about my ass and curves I'd even feel like just taking my life cause I felt it was too much. She laughed and I joined her. Thandi: I never could've thought. Me: I still try to get a bit of meat on this body the point is as much as you'd rather have my body I'm craving for yours. Thandi: I'd switch anytime with you. Me: Just appreciate your thick body. At least with you there's meat everywhere. Unlike Me when I'm slender with an ass and curves. Thandi: It doesn't even make sense. Me: Exactly. But if it makes you feel any better I'll diet with you. Thandi: Really? Me: Yes we could both lose weight though I got nothing left to lose. She came to my side and we shared a hug. I'm grateful to have her in my life she like Kyle has stuck with me ever since. Thandi: Thank you you don't how much it means to me that you'll do all that with me. Me: We should make some sorta timetable. Thandi: Yeah and we can also add exercises. Me: Jogging and stuff. Thandi: Yes. Thank you so much Charity. Me: It's a pleasure cupcake now back to those sandwiches. Thandi: Funny how you eat more than me yet I'm the one gaining all the weight. Me: It doesn't even make sense. We chuckled and ate sandwiches with some mango juice. When we were done she also took her bag and we locked the flat as we left. We arrived at campus 5 minutes later at around 10am. Unfortunately we not doing the same course so we had to part ways. I hugged her for the last time and we parted ways. I arrived in my class and sat down listening to music as I waited for other students to come and the lecturer as I was a bit early. Some dark skinned girl sat next to me I don't really have friends around campus though I'm an extrovert. I can't explain why not. Girl: Hey. I removed my earphones and faced her. Me: Hi. Girl: Well I'm Tshego and you? Me: Charity. Girl: You white? I chuckled. Me: I'm so black nevermind the skin color. Tshego: You really beautiful. I smiled. Me: Thanks and you pretty too. Tshego: And dark. Me: How I wish I was that melanin. Tshego: Really? Me: For real I'd feel like a real black girl. Tshego: I think I'm gonna love being your friend. Me: And I just made my first friend in campus. She gasped. Tshego: You not kidding? I shook my head. Tshego: Wow I thank my lucky stars for having been this brave and approached you. Me: At least now you Know I'm not such a bad person. Tshego: Not at all. We giggled as the lecturer entered and everyone became silent. I walked with Tshego to my other lectures fortunately for me she was doing the same course as me. During lunch Kyle called me. We where sitting at the cafeteria with Thandi I had introduced them to each other and we all got on well. That was a bonus for me. I was just happy that Thandi didn't feel left out Tshego is around her size. Me: It's my boyfriend I gotta take this. I walked a stone throw distance from them. Me: Hello? Kyle: Hi.. I.. Can I.. Me: You stuttering. Kyle: I just.. I didn't think you'd answer after.. You know. Me: oh it's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself. Kyle: I can't help it. I feel so bad. Me: It's understandable but I pushed you that far. I should actually be apologizing. Kyle: Can I see you? Me: I got one class left. Kyle: Call me after that. Me: I'll see. Kyle: Please. Me: I'll send you a text. Kyle: It's also good. Me: Alright then. Kyle: I love you. Me: I love you too baby. I hung up and went back to the girls. They had already bought food for me we all ate over a light chat. When it was time to go back to lectures we accompanied Thandi first then after we went to attend our lecture. Like I told him I sent Kyle a text after Thandi got on a taxi to where she stayed. He returned my call almost immediately. Me: I'm done. Kyle: Give me ten minutes. Me: I'm already counting. He chuckled and hung up. The truth is I was scared. I really didn't know how I was going to react to seeing him after the fallout we had. I'm guessing there's only one way to find out. Which of course was in ten minutes. I could actually feel my heart beating out of my chest.

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