"What a waste of my time" I thought as I walked out of the manager's office.

She hadn't helped much because my stomach was still grumbling.

I clicked my tongue as I thought of the bitter start to my day.

I woke up to the news that my mother had suffered a mild stroke and that alone ruined my day.

How was I going to get to Botswana while I had a lot on my plate?

On top of that I had just received bad service from my favourite restaurant as if I wasn't having a bad day already.

I climbed into my car and played gospel music. I needed something to sooth my soul and calm my spirit down.

"Uyahalalela Jeso"

I hummed along to Omega's voice.

At only 25 I already felt like the whole weight of the world rested on my shoulder.

I arrived late at work and I knew my boss was going to have a fit.

I worked as a designer for Perfect Fit Couture.

"Sorry I'm late"

I said immediately when I arrived and Brenda shook her head.

Brenda: "I get that you're the best we have yet but keep in mind that you can be replaced "

I wanted to laugh but my mood was too bitter.

Me: "Yes ma'am "

I just went to my corner.

I needed the day to end already.

It didn't help that I was hungry.

my life is pretty basic. I live for my mother and I'd literally die for that woman. she assumed the role of both my mother and father after I lost my father.

He was a soldier who died on duty. Truly a man of integrity and honour.

I was only nine when it happened.

She encouraged me to follow my dream which had always been fashion and never called me gay for it.

I was happy where I worked and to me it would never be about the money

As long as I had a roof over my head could spoil my mother and had food I was sorted.

Brenda: "What's wrong? "

She asked during lunch and that's when I realised I had dozed off.

Me: "Mami is in hospital. She suffered a mini stroke "

Brenda and I had been friends for two years since she decided to give me a chance.

She was the one who owned the line.

Brenda: "I'm sorry James but it's Monday and you know we have to meet the deadline "

I sighed.

Me: "I know. It's just messing up my day "

Brenda: "Just channel that energy into designing "

I laughed. I loved that she never pitied me.

Me: "Sounds like a plan "

I threw myself on the couch after the long day I had.

I was exhausted.

Brenda can be a slave driver if she wants.

I called my mother while I was busy cooking something for myself.

I knew she was going to answer Even in hospital. My mom is addicted to her phone it's crazy.

All she does is play games and gossip on Whatsapp. Gosh the invention of smart phones.

Mom: "I'm OK "

I laughed.

Me: "Bathong Mama"

Mom: "I know you're worried. Stop worrying about me and focus on finding me a makoti "

I chuckled. She actually sounded fine.

Me: "It's busy at work. I can only come on Friday "

Mom: "It was just a mild stroke. It's nothing bad"

My mom is just 48. I was worried because I couldn't understand why she would get a stroke at such an age.

Me: "Okae Matla? "

He's my younger brother 18 and very troublesome.

Mom: "He wants to study there next year "

Me: "Why? "

Mom: "Ga Ke itse. You know how he can't stick to one thing. I'm praying that South Africa helps him find his passion"

Me: "Mom you're amazing "

And truly she was.

Mom: "Yeah yeah"

I laughed.

Me: "Gosh bye woman "

Mom: "Bye baby. I love you"

Me: "I love you too"

I hung up and smiled.

I was relieved now. At least I could stop worrying.



His lips went from mine to my neck. He was making me feel all kinds of tingles.

A sound involuntarily escaped my mouth and I felt him smile on my neck.

I could feel the wetness down there and my breathing was starting to change. I stopped him.

He looked at me with his beautiful golden eyes.

Bryan: "What now? "

Me: "I... I can't "

He groaned.

Bryan: "Can't you just go with the flow? "

Me: "I... OK "

We were sitting on his couch. We had been watching a movie when the kissing started.

He went back to kissing me again this time moving his hand on my inner thigh.

I decided to relax and go with the flow.

He lifted me up with our lips still locked and made me sit on top of him.

I could feel his penis under me which were poking me.

It didn't help that I was wearing a dress. They were making me so uncomfortable.

I couldn't go on.

Me: "I'm sorry"

He groaned again.

Bryan: "Argh fine"

He took me off him and went into the kitchen.

I sighed.

We had been going out for a month now

I personally felt it was too early for me to lose my virginity.

He came back with a bottle of water.

Bryan: "Get your stuff I'm taking you back to your dorm "

Me: "I thought I was sleeping over here. I came with my overnight bag "

Bryan: "It's Monday you can't. "

Me: "But you didn't have a problem with it"

Bryan: "Hai stop pissing me off. Just take your fucken bag so we can leave! "

He knew how much I hated it when he raised his voice at me yet he still did it.

I was mad. I just took my stuff and went out.

He found me standing next to his car. He unlocked and I got in the back.

I got off immediately when he stopped the car.

Thank God it wasn't that late.

I just threw myself on my bed and slept.

I was woken up by someone jumping on my bed and it could only be one person -Michelle.

We had been friends since I started Grade 9 and I was now 18 and doing my Grade 12.

She laughed and ran off when she saw that I was awake.

Me: "One day! "

She laughed loudly.

Michelle: "I thought you wouldn't be here"

Me: "Thought so too but things didn't turn out my way "

Michelle: "He tried again? "

I nodded rubbing my eyes.

Me: "I really like him but I hate the pressure"

Michelle: "He is older. I mean you're 18 and he's 24 it's expected "

I shrugged.

Me: "I guess but he should be more understanding "

Michelle: "Just tell him you're a virgin "

Me: "I'm still mad at him"

She giggled.

Michelle: "He shouted at you? Mm if only he knew what I had to deal with "

I chuckled.

Me: "Heh wena "

Michelle: "I'm just saying. Go bath. I prepared your bath"

Me: "Thanks mom"

Michelle: "Yes hamba hamba "

I chuckled again.

I loved that she got me unlike some girls I once befriended in my Grade 10.

They were too forward and didn't want her in their "crew"

Because she's my best friend I wasn't having it so I chose her over them.

I knew if Susan my sister were to know she'd be proud of how I handled that.

Michelle: "Let's go have breakfast "

She said immediately after I took a bath and wore my uniform.

We walked away with her telling me of her crush of two years now.

She wasn't a Virgin like me and had experience in these things even though she was more of an introvert while I was an extrovert.

We were different and I think that's what made us get along more.

I had switched my phone off ever since my fallout with Bryan.

Michelle: "He's coming "

She whispered and from her face I knew who it was.

Jozi was our president. I don't know why they called him that.

He was your usual bad boy who had a new girl next to his curve every day. I didn't want that for my friend.

Me: "Behave "

I whispered back. She started fixing her hair as if there was a need.

She was brushing her cornrows with her hands.

Me: "Lord save me now "

She rolled her eyes and I laughed.

Gosh I love this girl.

"Ladies! "

He said and I was the one who rolled my eyes. He had a small moustache had smooth honey skin and a fade.

He also had braces which of course made him even more handsome with his big brown eyes.

I wasn't a fan of handsome guys.

Jozi: "How are you? "

Michelle: "We're good"

She said with a very soft voice.. I rolled my eyes.

This was going to be a long morning with these two flirting in my presence.

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