part 5 anything but a happy girl

I'm a serious coward shame. Yes I might have my mouth always full and stuff but when I came to certain mattersI just run away instead of solving the problem. That's how I dealt with crushesavoidavoid and avoid. But how do you avoid someone who seats right behind you? You always feel their presencesmell their scent. HeckI always hear him when he speaks. Can I avoid him for real? Well I had toI wasn't about to allow him to change my perspective about boysmenmales in particular. I saw how my mom had four children with three different men. I know how she had her first baby at 18. I'll be 18 in two years and I can'twon't see a repeat of history. My second sister Vuvuhad her first child when she was 19turning 20 in three months. Fortunately for herthe father was still with her and he was the one paying for her tuitions at college. Beauty ena didn't have even a cat. Her boyfriend works at some company too. Anyway today is Thursday. Valentines is next week Thursday. I didn't have a boyfriend so I wasn't looking forward to it. I actually don't believe in love so for me its just fake. I mean why should you spoil your girlfriend ka Valentine nje? What about the rest of the year? I hadn't talked to Tlhogieever since our conversation ye break yesterday. I just wasn't ready and running away from it wouldn't help me in anyway. I'd bunk school today but I wasn't about to add that to the long list of sins I've committed in my mother's eyes. I got out from the bath tub and dried my body. I had some time today that's why I took a bath instead of showering. I lotioned and wore my tunicstockings and white long socks. I dusted my shoes then wore them. I combed my hairwhich was so hard but since I wasn't afraid of the comb like my little sister OmphemetseI just did it. I took my bag and put in today's books according to today's timetable. I then went to the kitchen and my mother was there. Chindeke! Mom:Hey babyare you good? Somebody's in a good mood today or maybe she woke up ka right. Me:Hi mama

are you good? Somebody's in a good mood today or maybe she woke up ka right. Me:Hi mamaI'm fine thanks. Mom:Your hair looks horrible. Here(giving me R200) You should go to the salon to do it. Me:(taking it) Thanks momI surely will. I made some cocopops for myself and ate while watching the News on TV. She gave me lunch money on top and I left. I met up with Masego at my gate who was as late as me. Sego:Your hair Barbie. Me:Sup with it? Sego:It needs an upgrade. Me:Oh I'm doing it today and it looks like you should follow my foot steps. Sego:My hair is not that bad. Me:You rightits worse. She kept quite and we silently walked to school. Haike she started it firstshe should know I'm not any one she can mess with. We arrived at school and saw her boyfriend or is it ex boyfriend with Hope. She was hurt shameI could see the hurt in her eyes. She didn't even confront them. Lucky she ain't me cause I don't take any nonsense mina. Her eyes were even teary and her mood changed right there. We got in our class and went to our seats respectively. Lesedi wasn't in class but her bag was. I just sat down in my seat while waiting for the bell to ring. I wént to the Assembly area when the bell rang. Luckily our principap wasn't the one conducting the AssemblyI seriously wasn't in the mood for him. We all went to our respective classes straight after. I went to the toilet first and when I came backI found Tlhogie seating on my chair while happily chatting to Lesedi who couldn't stop blushing. Haikethis must be a test. "Calm downcalm down" I said to myself as I got in class and went to their direction. I stood next to him and he just looked at me. I gave him one lookjust one look and he got off. Ladiesmaintaining a straight face worksyou should try it. I sat down and Sedi looked at me in a way. I wasn't gonna take that laying down. Me:What? Sedi:That wasn't nice. Me:Nice is not my name. Sedi:You really need to start being nice. Me:And you need to learn some manners and stop sitting your boyfriends in my seat. Sedi:Do you want him? Me:Want who? Sedi:Him. Me:I'll pass. Tlhogie:Oh wowo jealousy Me:Shut up wena. Lesedi just looked at meshaked her head then clicked her tongue. I didn't even care shameI know she'll come around. And she didduring break we went together to that Hope kid and she smiled when she saw us. Didn't those two rats say she got attitude? She's pretty shame. Short with dimples. No wonder Honey cheated with her on that ugly bitch. Us:Hey Hope:Hi Me:Are you Hope?(Just to be sure) She nodded. Me:You the one dating Honey? Hope:(smiles)Yeswhy? Me:I saw you with him in the morning. Hope:Oh okay. So what's your name? Me:Boitumelo but you can call me Barbie. Hope:You pretty. Me:You cute. She chuckled and we went back to class. I must admitI like that Hope kid. She's just so down to earth. Unlike Masego who thinks she's above everybody only because she's yellow. Hai fotshek. I went home alone afterschool.Cooked and dished up for everyone then took a nap.I'll do my hair tomorrow

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