I didn't wake up and decide to have a low self esteem and seek approval from  people

Most of the time when my mother is angry she told me how ugly I am and how no man will ever want me and how ashamed she is to even say she is my momshe'd say all those things when she is drunk wake up tomorrow she doesn't even remember a word

I love my mom and I'm only supporting them because of my siblings we may have different fathers but our mother binds us forever

It was 7 am and I was rushing to the office I need to be on my A game for Tshepo Jerk ass I had on a navy dress peach blazer matched with the shoes and my bag matches with my dress I have a 32 inch Brazilian on my clothes and everything I own boosts my confidence a bit but not enough

It was almost 9 am and I was nervous

' Babe pack everything you'll need we are meeting him Boulevard hotel for breakfast' said Sean as he hurried in to help me with my things

' This guy is something else though I have already prepared the boardroom for him and he does this' Mxm jerk ass

' It's what he wants and please don't start to frown now you gotta smile'

' smile? Really? Why didn't he say the venue the day he made the appointment'

' girl please how was he suppose to know that he'd want breakfast today he made that appointment weeks back'

Oh well yeah that was a stupid question we arrived at the hotel at exactly 9: 30we took the company car and the driver I was too nervous to drive

This guy intimidates me shame we were shown his table it was a bit isolated from the other tables

' You are late'  no good morning nothing and it's his fault that we are late

' I'm really sorry for keeping you waiting I didn't know that we were meeting here'

' I called your office but the phone rang with no response I got here at 8:30 and now it 9:30'

Damn this guy though he's young yens but the way he is soo intimidating you'd swear he's an old business man

He was not dressed formal today though he had on a cap white to be specific a white golf t-shirt and jeans I didn't see his shoes they are probably the most expensive shoes your timberlands or palladium or Pierre cardin

'Ms Gumede would you rather be somewhere else' shit I've been staring for too long

'I'm sorry sirI'm just disappointed in how the meeting is going' I faked some sadness

He looked at me for a while

' I have to be somewhere else at 10so I'll take your pitch and go over it'  pheeewww that's a relief

'ain't you guys going to order anything?'

I looked at Sean who also looked at me

'well if you guys aren't hungry then fine we can say we are done here and I'll call you Ms Gumede if I have any questions or to set up another meeting'

'not a problem sir' he stood up and left damn this guy is something else he's that guy that can get you wet because of his looks

' damn girl this man here will make me cheat'

' Sean please don't do that'

' you're not saying that sincerely but because you'd rather have him all to your self'

' and here we are arguing about that arrogant ass'

Somebody cleared his throat and we jumped and it was him

'uh... Ummh... Is there something wrong sir'

' no I left my car keys here' oh my God I don't know if he heard us or what but if he did I don't know what will happen

He left looking at us scared like a baby who's been caught stealing sugar

' Girl let's go before we get busted once more'

' yeah good idea'

' I almost peed on my pants'

'my throat went dry and I just kept on swallowing nothing'

We both laughed as we walked out and headed back for the office task 1 is done back to other things now

As soon as we got back everyone who knows how hard he is was asking how the meeting went and hey we had to explain what happened they were all relieved that he didn't pull out or anything

Damn thus guy has everyone running around like headless chickens

It was now around lunch time and I have the afternoon off I'm going to remove my braces today hopefully I don't know how it will feel without them I was really used to them ey

I got to my doctor and I was a bit early for my appointment so I sat outside and waited

30 minutes passed it was now 13:00 my appointment was at 12:30

I waited still until the door opened and people came out laughing

'you should tell me on time when you wanna cancel something' Id recognize that voice even in my sleep

' Ms Gumede you can go thorough' said James my doctor all this while I was looking down since I know who is hear

I stood up so fast like a girl who was in her principal's office waiting to receive punishment

I saw him look at me and I didn't make any eye contact I just rushed in the consulting room to wait for James as he bids him farewell

'Why are you always nervous around me' I didn't wanna turn to look cz I know he was standing by the door

' I'm not nervous'

'come on at the restaurant earlier you were like this and even now at the restaurant earlier you were like this and even now you can't even look at me'

I turned and looked him straight in the eyes that took guts trust me you can't look at this guy's face and not get lost in thoughts

' if you don't mind I am here for my appointment of which you already delayed I don't have all day to spend here close the door and call James on your way out'

He did the opposite called James and closed the door and sat down

James got in

' Ms Gumede you are removing right'

'yes Doc I am and I can't wait'

Tshepo was here all this while and I didn't even bother to fight him to leave that's unnecessary drama

I removed my braces and my teeth felt light ey

' you'll need to be careful with them they might be a lil bit sensitive without the braces'

'so you are a doctor now huh'

' I was a doctor before I became who I am'

' well right now I'm not here for you so James you are sure that my teeth are fine now'

' yes Pearl they are'

' well then thank you see you next time'

I got out of there as fast as I can and rushed to my car before Tshepo can come talk to me

My nerves got me cz my bag fell as I looked for the keys and everything in it fell out

Tshepo squarted helping me pick my things I had pads condoms and the remote controller for my sex toy yes you guys heard me right I have a sex toy with Cal being all over the place I had to my make a plan for the weeks he's not there

' this is interesting' he said as he picked my remote I stood up opened my car and threw my bag inside while he was laughing and I was embarrassed as fuck

' can I have it back?'

' I'll give it to you mine is automatic no need for a controller' he said as he held his pants

I got in my car and he stood at my window

' how will you use it if you don't have this'

' I'll get another one'

'I can give you mine the real thing for free no remote controller nothing'

' no thanks I'm good'

' since we are here I went through that pitch and I called your office they said you took the afternoon off I hope you don't mind if we can go through it now'

' the purpose of an afternoon off is to not focus on work and do other things'

' well your biggest client requests your presence are you gonna deny him that or what?'

' I'll deny he can make an appointment for another day'

' well then we'll just wait to hear what your boss has to say about that' he took out his phone and called my boss Samuel

' Hey Tshepo my man wasup?'

' I have a problem with one of your employees' this guy is serious I mumbled ' fine you can drop the call'

' never mind Sam I just found her'

He ended the call

' wanna get me fired i see'

'I'll drive behind you you can take your car home and back a few clothes'

'clothes for what?'

' you'll see'

'I'm not packing any clothes I'm packing my laptop and everything I need for this meeting'

' suit yourself'

I drove up to my place and he waited outside with his car while I went up to change my shoes and I could tell that Cal was home

I went to my room to get my charger and found cal making out with one of the girls that were here with him that yesterday mind you today is Thursday

I got my charger since they acted as if nothing happened they just continued with what they were doing Cal only said Hey babe you are home early and that was it

I got out of there so fast I was at the edge of crying right now

I got in at the back seat of tshepo's car and just cried my lungs out I didn't care who he is now I just needed to let it all out and he asked nothing and drove off to his house

I admired its beauty from outside that house is huge like a palace

We got in the house it was clean and had a manly touch to it so that means there is no wife

I just sat down on the couch my head was killing me he bought me water and pain killers to drink

' you can go take a nap in any of the rooms upstairs'

We went up and got in it looked like his room

He went to the closet and got me his sweat pants and a vest

' you won't sleep comfortable in that dress'

He left and I dressed in his clothes and slept after a few minutes of thinking

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