Author: Busiswa

Things we do for love

FOURTY TWO

Zama

I am used to my mom hitting me and cursing me but it hurts everytime she does


"I might get married next year dear so you need to make so etching about you life pretty soon let me leave you to it I'll see you when I get back I don't know when that is" 


Here is a thing if my mom hits you you have to be quiet because she will hit you more for making noise


I moved out of the way and got inside my Rondavel and just cried 


"God I know I am the last person you would listen to I'm sure the are other people that you would rather attend to and listen to but if you ever listen to me please answer me please forgive me for the sins I have done in the past and present I didn't mean to do all the things I did life became to hard and I guess I opened for the easy way out God how did you plan I live my life? Your word says you knew me before I was formed on my mother's womb I guess that means you even know the choices I'd make before I even make them why then did you let me make them knowing that they are bad?  What do you really want from me? You took away my father who was my everything my pillar and you didnt leave anything to fill the gap you took him knowing that he is our rock and now I had to grow up and provide for my mother look at me today I can barely keep a man I doubt I'll even get married my own mother makes me feel unwanted in my own father's house "


I couldn't go on anymore I just cried and I felt someone hugging me from behind and I knew that it's Lihle my best friend this in one friend who has always been there for me no matter what


When I was finally calm we sat on my bed 


" you don't have to hate God there is always a reason for everything just like there are season in a year it can not all be green and beautiful some times it has to be dry sometimes the beauty of the  flowers has to fade away so that more beauty can grow back when it's season arrives "


" I guess I have been expirience a winter season for the rest of the time I can remember""


" maybe you need to even change the way you do things your thoughts and even the way you pray God sees your heart more than he listens to you"


"I wish I had the same faith as you do maybe its

Your faith that got you a husband and mama a boyfriend"


"look friend you can't wish for what someone else has you do not know what they had to do to get there"


" you are right ey friend I regret what I did to Tshepo and his wife that lady was friendly to me for no reason and she has been through a lot and I just added more problems on her already full plate"


"Fix it tell them what you have done so that they can seek help while there is still time"


"where do I even start?"


"you have her number right?"

I nodded

"send her a text then"


"I think you are right tomorrow I am going to walk to town to find a job even if it's at a Chinese shop"


"that's a good idea friend I will go with you I am also going to post my uj application tomorrow and we can take a taxi you don't have to walk"


"what will I be without you? Your husband is going to take you away with him"


"come on girl distance will never kill our friendship"


All along I was typing a text and I pressed send I hope it's not too late

Looking for a short cut in life is never a good idea and I don't know what I was thinking to use voodoo to get what I want in life I'm taking back my life 9 hope now I can make you proud Ntate wherever you are


I walked Lihle to her place then took the longest walk back home I'm going to be bored out of my mind but it's better than being with my mother and listening to her insults


...............................................................................


Tshepo has just finished bathing he looks at his emotional wife and he can't bring himself to say good bye to her as he has to leave for Nigeria

he really missed his wife and they just got each other now and he wouldn't want to lose her again a month away from her will be too much


She was sniffing as she packed his clothes in a suitcase


"let's all go to Nigeria let's make it a family trip"


She turned around her eyes looking puffy and red that broke Tshepo's heart


"we will be fine babe just go I don't want to be in your way"


"I am not leaving without you guys"


He got his tablet and started booking flights for his wife and kid

On the other side A message comes through Pearl's phone and she reads it at first she was shocked to see who it was from but now she is even more shocked to read what it says


"Oh my God"


Tshepo turns to see what is happening and the look his wife has worries him so he takes the phone and reads the text

He goes silent after that


"say you told me so I know you want to say it"


"no I am not going to say it"


"but you did tell me and as always I was stubborn look where it got us now"


"yeah well we cant dwell on that now we just need to find a way out of this situation"


"where do we find a prophet in Johannesburg?"


"I don't know but we have time our flight only leaves at 10 pm tonight" go take a bath while I wake this little one and feed him then we can go"


With regret filled in her mind how angry she is at herself for not listening to her husband if only she had listened just this once then they wouldn't be in this situation


The words on the text kept playing in her hand as she imagined Zama saying them with her mouth


'I am sorry for everything I used Muthi on you guys so that you can fight and separate because I wanted Tshepo to be my ticket out of poverty seek help from a prophet or a sangoma I'm sorry'


The anger she had was not directed towards Zama but herself rather because above everything else it was her fault she bought this in their marriage a lesson she has learnt is to never be friendly to her husband's ex


She got out to find Tshepo dressing Mpho the image melted her heart but the thought of losing it broke her heart even more


"it's rude to stare don't you know?"


"I know but you look cute"


"come here" I walked over to my husband I know he wants to blame for everything I don't think I wanna hear those words come out of his mouth I already blame myself


He gave me his passionate kiss and then looked into my eyes


"we will get through this together" I just looked downGod why didn't you just let me listen to my husband how much I have killed the moment I became friendly with that girl


" remember how irritating I was to you when I was just your client" I chuckled I don't know that he noticed that he wasn't my favorite person


"I knew from how you'd roll your eyes the way you tone would change the minute I stop you while you are pitching and ask you questions I loved seeing you like that I also remember the time we met at the dentist"


"everything I had in my purse was scattered on the floor...


" and I saw your vibrator " we said that at the same time.


" the look on your face ey"


"I was embarrassed ey"


"right now we will just go out for lunch if you need clothes we will buy clothes and then we will go to Nigeria forget whatever Zama did our love is stronger we can fight this"


I just nodded against his chestafter a while he let me go and I dressed up and we drove out I sent mother a text telling her about this maybe she can tell me what to do


I am drowsy to a point that I can say a full sentence and Tshepo looks fresh this guy is something else though remind to never take a 10pm flight to another country

I eventually slept when he gave up on keeping me awake


Nigeria please treat me good and may you bring back the spark in my marriage


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