Ahh pregnancy though
I look like a balloon filled with water I don't wanna say I look like an elephant
I can give birth any time from now and Tshepo doesn't want to take any chances so he got a CEO while he stays at home and nurse me
Boring I tell you whats more boring is this brown envelope that is in my dressing table
I know who it's from because Tshepo told me about his and who it's from so it's the same person
Do I really want to know what pathetic lies she has written? No I don't and I threw that letter away but somehow it still appears back on my dresser Tshepo though
At least my boy is out of the danger now he is at home even though there are soo many things we have got to be careful of but I'm glad he is fine he eats a lot well more like he sucks me a lot
Matla though well I have to do a skin to skin with him every morning.
I strip naked and so does he then he lays on my chest while I cover us up with a blanket
I'm grateful for Lesego though he has been very helpful we take turns in doing this our room has to me warm all the time and he can't have formula only breast milk
Inothando got in she is soo obsessed with how tiny Matla is and she is happy about being a big sister
"mama can I hold him?"
"is your homework done?"
"geez mom why you gotta be like that anyways my homework is done thanks to daddy for being the best always"
"fine I get it I'm not the best like your dad because I am pushing you to do your school work and be a responsible human being"
"can I hold him already?"
"stop being cheeky with me I can still spank you"
"that's all you are good at ever since M got here you don't want me anymore only daddy does"
After saying that she left drama queen
I walked out with my Doctor by the way his name is Luthando
Well we've grown pretty close I don't wanna say he loves me but if I'm reading right he does feel something
" so I wanted us to talk about your plans when you get out of here" do I really wanna leave this place? No I don't think I'm ready I don't wanna be stressed about where I will leave what I will eat what I will wear
Ahhhhhhh this is soo frustrating
"life will unfold itself as soon as you step out of here don't worry yourself about what you can't control"
"easy for you to say life is going good for you you got a career I got none who will wanna hire me after all this rubbish I've created I blame no one but me"
" how about we sit here and just reflect on life"
I looked where he was pointing and there was a picnic setup I looked at him with questions
" ask no questions hear no lies"
I settled down and we ate there was all kinds of food here junk and real home made food
"so what did you tell your wife when you packed this food?
I was asking soo that I don't fall for him only to find out that there is someone in his life that will cause a relapse for me
I looked at him and he was laughing at me
I just ate the junk Christmas comes once a year
" I don't have a wife I cooked all this food and packed it
"thank you I missed being outside I have been locked up for days"
" if you were to be in a relationship when you get out what would you go for?"
You see what I mean guys he has a thing for me
" truth is I don't ever wanna make a mistake I made before I followed materialistic things and forgot about love and happiness"
"oh where to from here then?"
" I'll go back to my mother hopefully she takes me back after everything I've put her through"
We chilled till it was time for me to go back
He took me back to my room and gave me a heart warming hug
He smells nice that I can tell you
Lebo and I have been going out for 3 months now it's great but we haven't named it we just enjoy each other's company even though he has hinted that he loves me
My mother was telling the truth when she said she is going to get married she is married to the business guy she is involved with he wanted me to come with but my mother advised him other wise saying I should learn to be an independent woman
Well I didn't care I didn't really want to live with a step father I've heard a lot of stories about them and I don't wanna be in a statistic
Life has been soo good to me ever since I let go of the envy I had for people Lihle and I are still close she is now 3 months pregnant and a very happy woman
I can't date Lebo because he made me his P. A at his law firm he is a majority shareholder here and the CEO
I was heading to the cafeteria to get myself lunch when Lebo came to my desk
"It's good that I came right on time so that we can go for lunch and go home after that"
"I am going to buy my own lunch stop asking to take me out what will people say when they see us?"
"that I am having lunch with my P. A while she is briefing me about my schedule"
"you ain't gonna give up will you?"
"that's why I had to be a lawyer because I can argue my way out of anything"
To be honest I don't really wanna eat alone I am saving up money to go back to school I can't really be a P. A till death and what if Lebo moves or finds a wife who will hate me
I am renting a flat nothing fancy even though Lebo didn't want anything to do with that he was soo angry because he wanted me to stay with him
I thank God for bringing him around because my family took my home when my mother married I wasn't going to have a place to stay had he not gave me this job back then
" I am going to pay lobola for you next month so that we can stay together"
"I hope they chase you out because I haven't even agreed to be your girlfriend"
"just because you don't say it with your mouth it doesn't mean your heart doesn't feel the same way"
"you are soo full of yourself"
"how about you come for a sleep over at my place just a friend visiting a friend nothing above that"
"nope I know you you will change from friend to something else in a blink of an eye"
"why don't you try me then"
"no thank you now please take me home"
He didn't hesitate not beg me and that got me worried that's unlike him
We got in his car and drove offafter a while I realized that we were not headed for my place
" and then this is not a route to my place?"
"how would you know?"
"okay fine I need to get my jacket at home"
"a jacket? Really? How dumb do you think I am?"
"okay maybe I am not getting a jacket you said I should take you home and our home is this side"
He drove into his place I am defeated I am tired of arguing with him abput this as if we are fools