I cooked dinner and dished up for everyone except for myself I have to wait for them to finish then eat and wash the dishes then take my food to my room

I was sitting there watching them eat and getting lost in my thoughts imagining my life in a different way I thought of my marriage to Blessing and  from then I saw that nothing of mine is the same as other people's things I always get things differently

My mom called me to the dinning area

Her: listen tomorrow you will sleep here in the house just because you uncles and their useless wives will be here so I don't wanna give them reasons to sit about me

I looked at her not believing my ears she knows the way she is treating me is not right now I have to pretend all is well

Her: Oh and Lindo will give you some of her old clothes because yours look 12 years old

Wow how old would they look if I get them old and they are the only clothes I have

Grams: Darling walk me to my room

Grams saw that I was hurting because Lindo was laughing through out and that hit so deep I felt tears burning my eyes

We got in grams room

Her: oh my dear child don't worry tomorrow we will go to the Mall you'll get decent clothes and shoes and have your hair done

I just cried in grams's embrace how I wish it was just me and her no one else

Me: why does life have to be so unfair grams? Do you know that I used some of my clothes as sanitary pads because I didn't have any? I use soap as my roll on and toothpaste?

Her: (teary) oh Kodwa mntanam why didn't you come to me you know I'd give you anything

Me: I didn't want to get you in trouble grams and u didn't want to worry you you are not well grams

My grams was really hurt after that talk she got in bed and slept as I made my way to do the dishes mom was still awake more like wanting to supervise me

Her: yesterday's left-overs are still in the fridge so that will be your dinner take tonight's food and put in the Containers we will have it for lunch tomorrow we can't be throwing away food

Oh now I am her dog I cook food but don't eat then I deserve leftover food

I held back my tears washed the dishes then made my way to my room to sleep I laid in bed thinking 

Maybe death is easy because life is hard

God I have endured too much and I can't anymore I do not have the strength to go on any longer take my life before I help you take it why have you turned a blind eye on my situation why do good people have to suffer like this if we suffer so much will we ever reach promise land? is it eternal life or suffering?that you promise 

I must have cried myself to sleep because my alarm rang telling me it's time to wake up

Today is gonna be a long day my uncles will be arriving because tomorrow it's Lindo's negotiations that means more cleaning for me i got water and bathed

i got water and bathed dressed in my uniform and went to the house to start with my chores

Grams was awake when I got in

Me: morning grams is everything okay? 

Her: yes angel I'm fine just can't sleep no more and besides I wanna help you with the chores this house is too big for one person 

Me: ah grams I got used to it now don't worry yourself

Her: I wasn't asking for your permission by the way when are you visiting the Radebes again

Me: aii grams I'll only go there when we go for lunch until after the lobola negotiations are done

Her: okay dear

I started with breakfastwhen everyone was awake I went to clean the bedrooms

....... Hours later....... 

Grams came in as I finished the last bedroom 

Her: go bath dear so that we can go to the Mall now

Oh I totally forgot about that yazz

I prepared my self and we left


I was having lunch with olwethu 

Him: so my uncles are in my house already

Me: wow they are taking this seriously neh? 

He looked at me pissed

Him: Because it is serious unless it's a joke to you

Me: geez babe I didn't mean it that way I mean they don't live far they would have just met tomorrow morning 

Him: they have things to discuss

Me Ohhh okay then

Him: please tell your mom that my family like meat a lot and they don't eat fancy foods like green salads and all those things that you 'snobs' eat

Me: geez as if you're not don't worry about that my aunts and Okuhle will be around to take of all of that

Him: is Okuhle not your sister? 

Me: she is

Him: she is supportive then if she is going to be helping around I bet that means a lot to you

Me: Argh please she is useless and besides if it's not her then who is going to do house chores? Certainly not me

Him: what do you mean by that? 

Me: Okuhle is just pathetic and she is like our maid

Him: you sound and look so proud when you say that can you even cook? Do laundry? Clean the house? 

Me: I just told you Mos Okuhle does all that why would I want to break my nails with hard labor and besides my hands are to soft for that hard work

He gave me a death stare

Him: Then I guess I am marrying the wrong daughter(firm voice) listen to me carefully you better learn house chores because I will not eat another woman's food in my house you will be my wife and you will be preparing my food better make okuhle your friend these coming months because who ever will marry her will get a wife not a useless Diva like you it's not about being good in bed only you must be able to take of me and our children nah!! 

Ohhhkkkkaaaayyy this guy is not serious right now he stood up and left me there

Now I'm really doubtful about this whole marriage he just insulted me to my face and called me useless in other words I'm only good at using what's between my legs


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Ntutu 2019-02-23 15:55:36

Yhu yhu akandidikanga maan unomaRussia sies Grams you are such an angel tho Lindo sesi wake up an smell the coffee