Author: Anathi Ndzamela

Her scarred psyche.

Chapter 9

I haven't spoke to Siya nor Onke. I was just not ready to face any of the two.

I hated that I was left feeling incredibly guilty for kissing Onke.



"We have to talk about that kiss" Onke said walking straight up to me.


I stammered before answering "I don't want to lose our friendship over this."


"Lisa you are one girl I wouldn’t risk losing." I could hear the seriousness in his tone. I remain silent.


" I'm in love with you and i'm only telling you this now because I was afraid that things will never be the same if you don't feel the same way about me." I remained in my stunned silence.


" Lisa look at me. How long are you going to avoid this? Stop creating more tension between us. Answer me at least ."


" I love you too" I found myself saying that my own voice betrayed me .


" I feared rejection" I continued.


He sat down on the couch and said nothing . I sat down next to him he looked deeply into my eyes. After waiting a moment he slowly grasped my hand and shifted a little closer to me. Without another moment to spare I realized that he was pressing his lips to mine. His lips were oddly soft in that kiss and it stayed slow and sweet. After a while i pulled away leaning my forehead against his.


" Be mine " he said softly giving me a nice warm and fuzzy feeling inside. I nodded like an innocent five year old.


••••••••••••

It's almost been a week and I haven't talk to Siya since that day she walked in on us ( Onke and I). Few times I would see her at the Cafeteria and catch her glancing on my way and she would stare at me for a while. I wanted to talk to her. I couldn't help the guilt within me.


"Siya " I softly called out to her. She turned around to meet my eyes.


" What do you want ?" That was the first thing she said.


" I'm sorry I know what I did was wrong . please forgive me." She slowly shook her head. Her eyes saying one thing. Knowingly I had betrayed and lied to her.


" Sorry for what? For being caught or for kissing him?" She asked bitterly. Heat welled up my palms. I sweat.


" No I'm sorry for not opening up about my feelings for him. The honest truth is that I love him." I told her.


" You LOVE him?" She said spitting out the word Love.


"Yes" I whispered . shame eating me up.

" I understand if you don't want anything to do with me. You have every right to be mad at me for kissing him." I managed to say.


" I'm not mad at you for kissing him I'm mad because you didn't trust me with your feelings. How many times did I asks you if you like him? She asked.


" Do you love him?" I questioned not answering her .


" I don't love him" she said camly than ever.

I was shock soon as I catched up her words.


" But you said-"


" Forget about what I said. I only like him. You know the big difference

right?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.


" And right now I just realise I can't be selfish about this whole thing. I know that he Loves you too." Soon after that I saw the sincerity in her eyes.


" I'm so sorry. Siya I wouldn't want to lose you for something so stupid." I smiled and held my arms out p her.


She walked into them and hugged me as if she hadn't seen me for years.


" To think that I was basically mad at you the feeling was horrendous." She whispered .


" just to be clear we are friends again right? I asked burying my face into her shoulder.


" No How about sisters again? " A smile made its way up to my face and I didn't want to let her go.


°°°°°°°°°°


I was in my bed not fully asleep nor fully awake when someone suddenly rip the bed covers of me. I let out a loud groan of annoyance when my eyes landed on Onke.


"Why are you here? Dude I'm still sleeping. I knew that giving you the key was a mistake." I whined .


"I'm sorry" he said poking my cheek. I slightly pouted.


He shrugged and pulled the covers back on before he crawled towards the space next to me. I stiffened as his leg touched my bare skin.


" You are so warm" he said and snuggled closer. I kept still. My heart beat quickened with each intake of breath. My stomach was in knot. I have never been this close with anyone.


"I should get ready for my classes" I managed to say. " Seriously? Look I need you to breathe." He said.


Without thinking I did what I was instructed to do. I let out a deep sigh.


" We have like Four hours before class. Lets talk and chill" he said after he hissed.


I decided to lean forward and pressed my head against his chest. His breathing was slightly off balance too. He played with my hairthe contact was oddly comfortable. Onke told me about his family . He was born out of wedlock his Father died before he was 5. He has a brother which is two years older than him and they don't have a close relationship.


" Tell me something about yourself." I sat up a little straighter in bed.


" What do you want know?"


"Where is your Dad?" He asked.


Just then I realized how I never mentioned my Father.


" I don't know. He is probably dead." I looked away.


He was silent for a moment then

" He left you?" He asked softly.


My eyes watered a little at the thought of my father.


"He was a soldierhe went to war and never returned." My unshed tears betrayed me. I cleared my throat.


"I'm sor-" "Its fine. TV games?" I cut him short and Changed the subject.


" Sounds good to me" He smiled faintly and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

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