Chapter 1


“Argh… screw it.” I'm running late again one more time and I could lose my job because of it. This is such an awful habit of mine and it upsets me so much it means that I am a tardy person. I can't afford to lose this job too where will I live? This damn zip! "Argh fuck it!" I groan trying to zip up this stupid dress I decide to put on a navy-blue coat to hide it and luckily for me the weather is working in my favour.

I run out of my flat in a flash I lock the door and my security gate. I have 10 minutes to get to work and the ride is to work is quite long it's like 18-20 minutes long I speed my way to work. I decide to carry some files in my hands when I get to the office trying to create the illusion that I have been busy; I need my boss think that I have been reading through manuscripts I mean I have just not today and I don't want to get into trouble with him.

"Ms. Ndlovu good morning." Mr Dingane greets as he walks past me I know that he wants to see me in his office. "Are the manuscripts ready?" Thank God I am done with these or else I would be in deep trouble with this man and I cannot afford to be in trouble with the boss. "Yes I am done sir I need them to be approved for editing there's one I would like to edit personally if that is something that could happen only if it is possible I do not want to cause any troubles or drama." I try to ease it in with a smile and he looks very pleased with me. "You are very efficient and hardworking Ms. Ndlovu you have a good eye and I trust you." I am quite flattered to hear these words from my dear grumpy boss. "Wait for approval and then we can discuss it." I hope and pray that it is approved I would love to prove myself to him and get a promotion. It would be so motivating to do something that brings so much joy to my heart and of cause I would love the money that comes with the job.

I thank him and I turn around and attempt to walk back to my work station. "Ms Ndlovu your tardiness will be the reason that you don't move up the ladder when people with less potential or people who are less talented than you move up and leave you behind." Shit he noticed guilt takes over me I certainly feel like a let-down at this moment could this day get any worse? I try so hard to work and concentrate on what I am doing but words of Mr Dingane play in my head like a melody that I can't get out of my mind. I am talented and I work my ass off I can't allow one small quality to stop me from achieving my goals. I didn't even read three chapters I hit my head on the table.

I pack my stuff and I take my bag; I leave the office. I get to my car and as soon as I switch on the engine it notifies me that I'm running out of petrol.

"Shit!" I grunt as I bang my head against the steering wheel three more days why couldn't you wait three more days I mean I'm getting paid why did this have to happen to me today? I don't have the money; how will I buy lunch for the rest of this week?

I slowly drive to the petrol station making sure that I don't waste any more of the petrol that I have left. When I get there I see beautiful smiles as always these men and women are so kind always passing out positive energy.

"Sawubona Ntombi emhlope." I smile at him and he does that same Banzi that's his name. "Aw that's his name. "Aw sawubona buth'wam may I please have i95 yeR300" he gets right on it he even washes my windscreen. I hand him my card and I put in the pin on the machine. His face turns sour and I'm immediately worried and highly embarrassed I know what this means. "Sesi wam can we please try this again this machine has been giving me problems all day long. I'm so sorry mntakama." I know that he is lying he is just trying to be nice and respectful. I panic my hands are sweaty I know what I have to do and I am absolutely dreading it; I have to ask my father for money. I'm honestly trying to show my father that I am responsible and I am independent and I'm not wasting money on unnecessary things. I am scared that he will think I'm using the money to groove or do unnecessary things.

"Uhm... buthi may I have a moment to transfer the money to this account?" he seems to have no problem because he gives me the go ahead.

-call conversation-
Me: Gatsheni...
I praise him
Baba: Na'Ndlovu.
Me: Baba this is urgent I forgot my card at home and I only realised after I got to the garage and had my car filled up
I am extremely anxious; this has never happened to me.
Baba: Done I've sent it. Uluthando do not lie to your father it is wrong.
He reprimands I am scared of my father sometimes.
Me: Thank you baba.
I ignore the last part and I hang up.

I see the car behind me flashing its lights how rude... can this person not see that I am in the middle of a crisis right now? I am so frustrated at this moment and that driver is not making it any better.

I quickly run out of my car to the ATM to withdraw the money that my father sent to me. I quickly withdraw the money and I jog back outside so I can pay this young gentleman that has been so kind to me.

I see a tall well-built man standing next to my car with the petrol attendant. "Here you go buth'wam thank you..." I hand it over to him with a smile on my face I am very much appreciative of this man and his patience. "No need ses'wam this gentleman here has taken care of it." My eyes pop out who the hell is this man I have a stalker... I knew coming to Johannesburg was a bad idea but I didn't think that it was this bad everything is expensive I am all alone in this city I don't have friends I just want to go back home.

I give the guy R100 just to thank him and he gladly appreciates it he leaves me with the stalker.

"Who are you and why would you do that; I won't have sex to you you do know that right?" I make it clear to him; I don't want these men thinking I'm here to please them. All these men want is pussy they don't care about love and having a family they don't have morals. "I was just trying to help you doing a good deed but clearly I made a mistake." He seems very annoyed with me and so am I why would he do that? "What do you want?" I ask in a pissy tone what if he does something violent to me?

"For you to learn some manners.” My face turns sour when he says that. I get inside my car and I drive away the weird people that we meet around here.

I arrive by my flat and I am exhausted I throw myself on the couch and I fall asleep no food no shower just sleep.


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